Here are questions from readers that were addressed by leading psychiatrist Dr Manish Bajpayee. The identities of the solution-seekers have been withheld to protect their privacy.
Every time I consume alcohol, I spiral into a negative mood. I have extreme emotions, I self-pity to my friends, I convey negative thoughts and just demand attention. What’s worse is that I feel like killing myself. The other day I even played around with a knife (I was just trying to visualise how it would feel) after I was drunk, and my sister saw me. My family has been shattered since then, so they’re scared. The worst of it is, I constantly feel the need for that alcohol, and I have a weird masochistic pleasure when I do all of these things. I take therapy. I take medicine. I don’t think anything is helping.
You might be dependent upon alcohol or this could be the beginning of alcohol abuse. Playing with a knife is dangerous and is a sign of depression.
I can understand that initially, the success rate with therapy and medicine is very low. You may feel as if your efforts have come to nought. Please don’t stop taking medication and don’t stop going to your therapist either. Repeated attempts at this will bear fruit. You can also consider joining an Alcoholics Anonymous group.
Persistence pays off. Don’t give up! You will have negative thoughts but you must keep trying and not give up on yourself. You will definitely succeed in the end.
Dear Doctor, I feel as if I am losing control of my emotions and my feelings. I am not sure what is real and what isn’t. I’m struggling to draw the line between my imagination and reality. Can you please advise me ways in which I can grasp better control of my mind?
One can certainly question reality. You must try and seek feedback from your friends about your feelings. You could have several anxiety issues that need to be dealt with. You must consult a psychiatrist to talk these things out. Things that have been bothering you earlier, for instance any childhood abuse you’ve faced could also be the cause of this. You can definitely come out of this.
My father is 65 years old. He is hale and hearty. But, he has recurring dreams of himself going unprepared or failing exams in school. He wakes up from these dreams panicking and then later comes back to reality. It’s quite odd that my father still gets these dreams even at this age. What can I do to help him forget and get over that phase? Please help me out.
Having such dreams at this age could be an early sign of dementia. Bad dreams and the anxiety caused by it can also lead to old age depression. Please check with your father whether the dreams come as soon as he sleeps or when he’s sleeping deeply. Your father should not be isolated from everyone. Make sure he has enough interaction every day. it may not be a bad idea to visit a family therapist as well.
My best friend lost her husband in a tragic car accident six months back. They had got married just two years back and were madly in love. This incident has really shaken my friend and she is still mourning her husband’s death. She has lost the will to live and believes that she cannot be happy anymore. Doctor, how can I help my friend get out of this? She is very talented and is just 30 years old. Please help me.
I understand that your friend must be in a very difficult spot right now. Grief is normal. It is all right if she is mourning her husband’s death especially if it was unexpected. But procrastinated grief and extensive grief is abnormal. You have to check how your friend behaves when her husband’s death completes a year. Anniversary reactions are very important. It is only then that the person will know how they feel. In case your friend has witnessed the accident, she may even be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). If her grief is extensive, then it must be treated. As a friend, the best thing for you to do is to be there for her. Listen to her while she talks about her feelings. But you must wait for a year to pass to know exactly how she’s feeling.
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