My parents crib about the clothes I wear… the dresses are too short, the necklines are not sober…

My parents keep cribbing about the clothes I wear. The dresses are too short, the necklines are not sober, the jeans are worn too low, etc etc.  Now, how do I convince them that they are acceptable these days. I understand where my folks are coming from, but they need to understand. Can you please address a note to them so that I can forward it to them (I don’t want them to read the rest of Dr Know as they’ll be scandalised!)

But they are right! When India produces so much of nice fabric that is worn world over, why do you need to scrounge on it? Use it abundantly without worry. We have plenty to wrap around beautiful girls.

But yes, I know what you mean, sweetie. These folks are always so old-fashioned. They never understand what pressures we face when it comes to dressing cool, hot and stuff.

I mean what do they know about ‘if you have it, flaunt it baby’ and all that! Imagine a life without those hunks drooling at us walk past. So boring na?

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: As long as you have the capacity to handle the jowls and snide ones, there really is no issue. Yes, men will stare, and in all likelihood at everything that is in skirts, mini-skirts, shorts and really short- shorts. Now, there is sweet nothing you can do about the imagination running wild. It’s this hormone called testosterone..

And moreover, I guess we enjoy all the attention too, don’t we baby?

Be careful though. If you’re the short-shorts type, then pepper spray is a good idea. Do remember that men are essentially good, though there are some exceptional and some exceptions. But this pepper spray is fun. Capsicum Oleoresin in the eyes can make anyone see stars, stars in shorts and very short-shorts! Just aim and shoot baby.

I am an FYJC student and have a complexion which describes me as dusky. There are many who think this will not help me attract guys. I was under the impression that the dusky look is kewl. What say you?

Wow!!! Dusky is really sexy. Naomi Campbell types. Ooh La La! Dusk is when romance happens and moonlight sets in to create the perfect setting..

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Whoever told you that dusky doesn’t attract guys. Dusky is hot ’n happening for most guys! And if you find some moron who things otherwise, have his hormone levels checked.

Don’t you dare bother about what anyone says. Being dusky is more than kewl. It’s like absolutely smashing. Oooooh, my hormones!

My girlfriend thinks living in before marriage isn’t a good idea. But I think it’s essential in order to get to know each other. What is your view?

Oh, really? I didn’t know that! I mean, how much do you want to know handsome?? As it is you’re spending most of your day together. Or is it something about the nights that you want to get enlightened with, huh?

She seems the sensible kind unlike you, Mr Handsome! Just chill and enjoy the time you have with her and stop dreaming of the nights.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Haven’t you heard of keeping aces up the sleeve? Marriage has it share of surprises and great moments. Hold your horses till then. Keep the hormones in check and stick to the basics. Both of you need to have something to look forward to in marriage so don’t spoil the fun by living together now. Sometimes, the lady is right too. Accept it, sweetie.

Is there a way in which I can find out if I am using a condom appropriately. Is there a video you can recommend. The repercussions of incorrect usage is something I am not ready for.

But, of course , there is a right way! For a start always remember that that isn’t meant for your feet. Use it appropriately placed in its intended location. It’s for specific extremities only and is not a general purpose device.

Please note that that the intended location must be in attention and ready for appropriate use before the sheath is put in place. Explicit details of the same are most often available in the form of product literature in the pack. The accompanying instructions are meant to be read in case you didn’t know.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Since you seem to believe in the power of the visual medium you are advised to use a search engine and locate an appropriate demo video on the use of condoms.

A word of caution. Most international videos use professional models who have wonderful dimensions. Please do not attempt to measure and benchmark at any point of time. Learn the technique well. It may just save you some heart aches.

May you have a rubberful time ahead!

Illustration: Suraj Lokare

So boys, girls, aunties and uncles. It’s time now to say goodbye, but only for now. Your all-knowing Dr Know will return next week. Just relax and keep writing to me at editorial@pune365.com and say for Dr Know and all that. Enjoy the weekend and carry an umbrella when you walk.