My neighbour is a pervert… Can my housing society take action against him?

Illustration by Suraj Lokare

I think my neighbour is a bigger pervert than Trump. He keeps eyeing all the women in the building and doesn’t even spare girls who are as old as his daughter. Worse, he talks about women in vulgar terms. Should I go and complain to his wife? Or just let him be? Would you know if my housing society can take action against him?

No, no, don’t complain sweetie. Just buy one of those roadside binoculars and hand it over to his wife with a note saying “Ask your hubby not to strain his eyes starting at all the pretty women”. He he he, just watch the fun soon after. I can bet you, your locality will boast of the best in fireworks this Diwali.

Now that’s what I call a typical Dr Know ka sinister plan! Go for it baby. Teach the ol’ perv a nice lesson.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: This sinister plan can be coupled with a few missiles when he is on the job. Try and get one of those catapults and arm it with a nice sharp stone. Now, use your telescopic vision and let it go when he’s staring. And yes, you know where to aim right my darling? Just there. Oooh, what a ballseye!

I am in a deep relationship with my friend’s sister but now she tells my friend that I have no future because my salary is low and steadily so since two years. But I am an engineer and I’m bloody sure I will do well in the next five years. How can I make her see reason?

Oooh that’s real deep, handsome! I mean, she must be quite into this relationship to start counting on the moolah at the end of the romance rainbow. She’s smart, eh? Well, cant blame her, you see. Shopping and salon costs are spiralling so its tough on the home budget.

Not to worry my hunk, just be nice and ‘matlabi’ like this doll. Beat her to it and ask her how much she is going to earn when she’s at work? You know what I mean, those double income no kid-type couples…!

She will get the drift soon enough. She must know that engineering isn’t about tightening a nut or two! And moreover, why share your hard-earned bread and butter with a woman who doesn’t have confidence in you..?

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Honestly, If I were in your place, I would tell her off right now and not wait for trouble. She obviously thinks you are good for nothing and will suffer penniless. Let sleeping dolls lie. Au revoir as the romantic French would say. Or better still ‘accha, to hum chalte hai’!

It’s just two weeks to Diwali… Do you think it’s a good time for me to propose? Or it can be just any day?

Why wait for Diwali sweetie? Do it now. Then the Diwali will be extra colourful with much chemistry and biology. The day isn’t important handsome; the feel is. So get nice and feely with your romantic proposal. To hell with the calendar man.

Man proposes, woman disposes so better brace yourself for all possible reactions. It does help making the proposal nice and mushy with Sushy and wine. Oops, Sushi I mean! So lay it on thick like those nice soft fleece blankets. Let the baby feel nice and warm and romantic. Keep a check on those purse strings though.. Diwali is big fun and big drain too:)

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: This is about the woman in your life and not just a date on the wall. Go for it man, give her the best, pamper her senses and let the love flow. Wishing you babies all the very best in life and love. Mwah mwah.

I like to drink socially but that happens very often these days. My boyfriend says that it’s not a good idea for girls to drink in public. He is nuts and so chauvinistic. While I want him to teach him a lesson, it will achieve no purpose. How can I make him see reason?

He has a point there, sweetie ! Not good to overdo the drinking. Bad for your liver, bad for your brain and horrid for your wallet! Alcohol is injurious to health. Now this isn’t gibberish; this is the truth. Moderation is key to enjoying the myriad pleasures of life!

As for the drinking in public bit, yes, that’s a typical MCP thing and he ought to learn whats good for him in the current scenario. Gone are the days when the woman is to lead a sheltered life within the four walls of the house. Women are equal in all respects and have the right to manage their lives. Yayyyy more power to the woman!!

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Now these are things you can discuss with him and sort out. Am sure the man will understand soon enough that both of you are equals in the relationship.. But yes, keep the moderation bit in mind baby. It honestly isn’t good. Alcohol slows cognitive function and can seriously damage your liver besides the central nervous system. For the record, alcohol can also cause mental disorders such as depression besides it being highly addictive. Drink if you wish you but sensibly. And don’t you dare drive or ride after a drink!!

Hic hic hooray..! It’s the Diwali month my darlings. Oooh, i just love the festivity, the wonderful ‘twinkle twinkle little star’ lights and the sweets.. Truly orgasmic.

And those fireworks must be banned, though i must confess I love watching those colourful ones. I feel quite bad about blowing up money for all that colour but then, what will the poor darlings of Sivakasi do if the whole country boycotted them. That little town in Tamil Nadu would die of starvation.. But for now my babies, enjoy the weekend and keep sending those hot questions to me at editorial@pune365.com . Don’t you dare forget to mention ‘TOP SECRET, Only for Dr Know’ in the subject line. I cant have these 365 peoples peer into my mail. Uff, when will they ever learn.

Bye for now darlings. Smooooch!

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