Confessions From The Diary of a Lesbian

Image used for representation only

 

Imagine being in love with your best friend for years and never being able to express it. Only, this isn’t the conventional boy-girl tale.

It’s a saga of love, PMS, raucous laughter and beautiful heartbreak of a very special kind. It is after all, the ‘Life of a Lesbian’ as Dhruvi Kerk, herself puts it.

With a reminiscing smile and a subtle blush, the girl talks about her very first crush.

“I was thirteen, so was she and we were best friends from class three. As we grew older, so did our bond, until she freaked out when I wrote her a love song.

“To be fair she sent me mixed signals. Sometimes with cuddles and then by sharing pringles.” smiles Dhruvi.

Her parents’ acceptance only made her more confident at 18, but Kerk admits that friends were a new ball game altogether. “Some chuckled, assuming I was kidding, but others were shocked and soon drifted away. Close girlfriends are often scandalized and assume I’m hitting on them. So let me explain- Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean ‘female’ is my type.

“Lesbians have preferences just as heterosexuals do.”

The 27-year-old who has loved and lost more times than she can count, confesses sheepishly, “Falling for the best friend is a pattern with me. What makes it worse are the frequent declarations of love. Girls do this all the time. It is quite frankly, maddening!

“She’ll hold your hand at the movies and the mall, share a trial room together, sip your soda, the list is endless.

“She’ll just about behave like a clingy partner, before majorly friend-zoning you, should you happen to propose. And trust me, the sleepovers and cuddles were a nightmare. It is akin to entering Disneyland handcuffed or blindfolded.

Spelling out her dating woes, Dhruvi reveals that unexpectedly wild experimentations with lesbianism is a fantasy many hope to achieve in town. “Try meeting a Tinder match or get set up on a blind date- there are always those who want to experiment with you. ‘Push their boundaries’ as they call it.

“Well, it isnt’ easy to be on the receiving end, especially if your blind date’s boyfriend is seated at the next table making suggestive innuendos.”

Revealing that coming out of the closet was hard enough, she beseeches Pune women not to fool around lest it should make her quest for a partner even more difficult. Suddenly, reminded of lighter moments, Kerk shares a memory of the time her folks laid down the house rules the summer of ’08.

“They strictly told me I wasn’t to have any boys over and that my land-line calls be limited to girls. Well, clearly that wasn’t a problem!

While my teenage friends pined for their boy crush, I had sleepovers and pillow fights with mine,” she chuckles.

Sharing her thoughts on dating women, the bubbly designer quips, “Ultimately, I feel it’s a lot safer to date women. No fear of date-rape, extra-long conversations, the joy of shopping and yes, we can PMS together! I’d have it no other way,” Dhruvi states proudly signing off.

 

#Respondent names changed to respect individual privacy

Aditi Balsaver

Aditi Balsaver

A rapacious reader and animal lover, Aditi is a traveler on weekends and a writer at night..
Aditi Balsaver

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