This isn’t always true. But marriages today do see a fair share of power play when it comes to matters fiscal. This week, we explore the money games in millennial marriages with a splash of septuagenarian perspective.
Nari Mehta was married at 19 and is a mother of two at 20. “Not earning has never been a problem for me. My husband works with the family business and we have a laid-back life. However, all I’m expected to do is work around the house all day and cater to my in-laws whims.
“Being a servant at 20 is not what my parents raised me for, but what choice do I have?
Nari explains that raising the twins and housework has her exhausted each day. “They could afford a maid, but won’t hire one. After all, who says no to free labour?” she says heatedly.
It seems the lack of income compels individuals to stay in emotionally draining relationships. Nahik Mehwal (33) offers us a male perspective on the subject.
“Being taken for granted is never a good thing, yet it always happens in long term relationships,” he admits. “It’s been eight months since my job was out sourced. Now things at home couldn’t be worse.
“Sometimes it feels as if she’s saying,
‘No salary? No opinion!’
“Conversely, I would never do that to her. Soon after we had a baby, she was home for four years. But my attitude toward her never changed with a diminished bank balance. I don’t understand why it should be any different for me. Why are men expected to be the sole bread winners?”
“I was a strong career woman in finance, who had to quit my job after having children,” says Manmeet Oswal, (35). “Though the choice was mine, being robbed of my choice to make decisions sure wasn’t!
“I think people measure relationships by the value their spouse adds to the equation today. And I am sorry to say, but they purely consider monetary value,” she proclaims addressing a grave issue.
Vishambhar Naik is 62 and a businessman who believes that this problem is limited to millennial marriages. He states that financial dependency is very common in India, especially for women. “I was married at 27 to a woman who never went to the office a day in her life! However, that doesn’t mean I slog more than her. Far from it!
“She took care of the house, chores, kids, my parents, hers and even my grandmother in the initial years of our marriage.” The septuagenarian shares an interesting trick that the couple used to avert conflict. “She was in charge of every decision regarding the home and kids, while I handled the business front.
“It was our job to seek counsel from each other whenever we were unsure about anything. And we did, with great respect for each other’s opinion.”
Naik explains that it strengthened their bond over the past 30 years going on to say, “She’s the best woman I know!”
It seems millennials have much to learn from the septuagenarians like Naik who truly personify love across the ages.
#Respondent names changed to protect individual privacy. All views expressed in this article are those of the respondents.
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