Hawking- Exit Earth At The Earliest” ! Uber Hai Kya?

Visual Representation : Manjiri Jayesh

 

I just read an interesting tweet that referred to Stephen Hawking’s latest
comments on space travel.. Hawking has advised us human beings to exit earth at the earliest opportunity…

He advises nations to prepare to send astronauts to the moon by year 2020 and go on to build a lunar base within a span of 30 years. Climate change and global warming aren’t as much of a priority as this, says Hawking.

Now this is one man who knows what he says and hence it is sensible to listen to Hawking in matters such. I know this sounds easier said than done but there is merit in doing do. We can debate this but it is unlikely that we know enough on this subject.

Coming to think of it, it would be good fun…

I am assuming NASA would be leading the pack of countries on the base building task hence I have a set of recommendations that I am putting together to make their task easier. These suggestions if implemented would help us Puneites settle in easy and not find themselves out of space.. er place I mean. As you can see, the focus is us Puneites in these issues. I am a tad selfish on these matters.

To begin with, a builder from Pune must be made ‘Project Lead’ to ensure minimal quality and outlandish amenities. Now once you have the builder, their contractors will come along to set things in space. It is of utmost importance here, to take along some able people who work with the municipal corporation, public works, highways department. excise department, traffic department and such important functionaries.

Now that we have this pack in place, carry along a corporator/elected representative also along. With this addition, transport issues during construction will be resolved since they come readymade in Scorpios and Range Rovers. All with tinted windows so any privacy issue is also taken care off.

Deployment must begin almost immediately since the road digging must start without further adieu, so that the roads can be made and broken by the time Pune earthlings reach. Pune buses may not make the journey so it would be advisable to ask our man, Elon if he can organise some eco-friendly transport for Pune citizens. After all, we are environment-friendly people and hence we should be given preference over other earthlings.

Our project lead will ensure that there is complete transparency in the construction, so you will get ‘Super lunar built-up Area’ that will be visible to an electron microscope placed on neighbouring Mars.

So, as you can see, we are in safe hands. All that we need is a few local vada pav and misal dhabas with a ‘bear shoppe’ attached for evening entertainment. Important to locate them outside lunar surface though, in view of possible moonway restrictions that may be imposed at a later stage by good samaritans.

Now, the good thing about all this is that, we will be set and comfortable from day one!

Soon we will have garbage strewn around among the dozens of potholes competing with the craters that our friend Armstrong had walked around !

The only thing left now is to get the water source in place. Not that we have too much to worry about, since the concerned in the construction team will arrange for copious tanker water supply 24/7.

The hoardings will scream lunar estate with salubrious surroundings with “earth facing aparments”, “Mars touch project” and yes, GST will also be waived for initial investors. What are we waiting for !

Bhai, Uber hai kya ?

 

#All views expressed in this column are the authors 

Jaisurya Das

Jaisurya Das

The industry affectionately calls him a Marketing Maverick; Known to be brutally candid with his writing as much as everything else, Jd is a much respected media and brand commentator whose prolific writing sees no boundaries.

Jd also consults in Consumer Neuroscience and Neuromarketing, both of which are integral to his brand interventions.
Jaisurya Das

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