Eureka, It Is The Garlic After All!

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Reading about all the seeming insignificant things in life is a pastime, I enjoy thoroughly and writing about a lot of these discoveries, is, as you aware my dear readers, my passion.

It is much like my evening drink. Most delightful and elevating to say the least.

Coming back to my current experiments with the truth, I was seated quite comfortably this summer afternoon, staring out of my office window begging for inspiration to write and all seemed hunky dory.

No earth shattering idea and no inclination to go back to writing the third chapter of my book and this is when, a young colleague stepped in to discuss an article.I was, as I told you, my readers, deep in contemplation about life in general, besides random fleeting thoughts on the cosmos and such interplanetary matters.

Frankly, the article was the least of my priorities in this reflective mood and hence the topic quickly shifted to the fasting routine that she’s been on for the past few days.

Now, all this is of great interest, considering this colleagues propensity to walk into office with 46 boxes of strawberries, or five kilograms of cucumbers!

No, this has nothing to do with a fast of sorts, Just her amazing ability to spot bargains and then buy whatever is available in copious quantities. It is a different matter, that food is normally not bought for their economic advantages, but she is an exception.

Two dozen tender coconuts is also a good deal after all, and one wouldn’t miss a good deal, would we?

Getting back to what these million strawberries side tracked me from, our conversation veered to what she isn’t supposed to eat. Several fundamentally good things were being abstained from, including the innocuous garlic.

Now, why would the garlic be taboo?  I asked quite nonchalantly…

She thought for a minute and said, apparently it is an aphrodisiac and these carnal thoughts are to be stayed away from this season.

This was undoubtedly my eureka moment, Ladies and Gentleman.

The garlic is an integral part of Indian cooking, save the Jain diets, if my understanding is right. We use the damn thing (tastes bloody good!) in almost every Indian gravy, or for that matter in even the little Western or Chinese that we attempt making.

I mean, I cant imaging our fridge not overflowing with ginger-garlic paste jars, packets, open, half open, three-fourth used, ancient, homemade, and ‘long expired’ variants. And I bet you, our fridge isn’t the only one that stocks upon these pods!

In fact, this pod meant more to us than the Steve Jobs’ iPod, in the best of times.

Food is life after all and food bereft of the garlic would be much like the pyjama without the nada (drawstring!). Yes, I know that is a strange analogy but am sure, you understand my emotion better with this.

It is a serious part of our lives and we need to respect it, or so I thought. But, do you now realise, how it has affected the Indian economy on a macro scale?

Let me explain. If the garlic is indeed an aphrodisiac, which I now have reason to believe, it is indeed a significant catalyst for copulation and the resultant increase in our country’s population.

I mean, we are much like the rabbit after all. Well, the Chinese too and as you would have now figured, the garlic could have been responsible there too.

I did try and get some state-wise data on the consumption of garlic vis-a-vis the population but I haven’t received the inputs yet. But, yes, am almost certain there is a co-relation that hasn’t been researched well enough,

Ladies and Gentleman, this is the answer we have been looking for to control our country’s population. Time for regulation and garlic must be made available only on production of successful removal of the reproductive organs or successful sterilisation, for that matter.

Dump the Aadhar linkage. This is far more important for the nation at large and this must be taken up on a large scale at the earliest. It is all about the garlic my readers.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am off to devour part of the six and half kilograms of peanuts that my wonderful colleague, just walked in with…

Jaisurya Das

Jaisurya Das

The industry affectionately calls him a Marketing Maverick; Known to be brutally candid with his writing as much as everything else, Jd is a much respected media and brand commentator whose prolific writing sees no boundaries.

Jd also consults in Consumer Neuroscience and Neuromarketing, both of which are integral to his brand interventions.
Jaisurya Das