The transition from being a typical carefree youngster to a responsible adult is never an easy process…
Adding to that, we are dealing with a generation who aspire to achieve almost everything in a short period of time and without even realising that all this comes at a price.
The pressure to be ‘a jack of all trades’ and the ‘centre piece of every gathering’ often leads to a loss of individuality and eternal emotional conflict, say these young Puneites speaking to us.
The conflict between moving ahead with a different career choice or settling down wherever you are coupled with the societal and peer pressure that expects you to be a success even at 28 is what gives Meghana Makhija, sleepless nights.
“The pressure builds up on you when you realise that the countdown had begun.
The thought that I only have a couple of years to live in my comfortable space and according to my terms leads to anxiety issues.
At one level, I believe that marriage won’t change anything if I marry the ‘right’ person, but, what if I get into the storm of having a family and having to fulfil their needs. In that hurricane, I don’t want to lose the person I have become after years of moulding myself,” shares Meghana.
For Savi Anand,28, finding the right guy and settling down in a comfortable relationship has got her worried.
“Can you really believe anyone in this era? NO!! But you have to take that leap because I cannot live alone in my old age.
It is frustrating to not have someone to talk to when you come home from work. And, to add to that, you see you roommates making huge promises and commitments. This, however, makes me an easy target for people looking for a casual hook-up as I am vulnerable today.
Rebounding into a relationship with the first guy I meet after my breakup is my idea of damage control and that may not be foolproof.
It is difficult to see your ex move on in life before you do and then you end up taking anti-depressants for overthinking and doubting your partners loyalty,” Savi adds.
Apart from the belief that you must have a strong monetary foundation, we men have to deal with with all kinds of assumptions that people make about us, says Rajan Jhangiani, 27, businessman.
“Why do men have to be the bread winner, or why is he expected to be always strong? I want to explore, travel the world, make new friends, adopt to different cultures, is it too much to ask for?
If women feel stressed about marrying Mr. Right, men feel equally stressed about having to meet all the expectations of their spouse and her family. And the pressure to be on your toes all the time and be judged on every little thing takes a toll on you and the relationship.”
Coming to a new city in search of opportunities often calls for a lot of sacrifice that only a migrant away from home can fathom…
Sharing her mental conflicts, Sonia Ahuja, 26, says, “When you are caught between fulfilling family expectations and living your own life, you begin to question your affection and attachment for your family and believe it is restricting.
Although all my requirements were fulfilled by my parents without ever questioning my intentions, when it is time to go back, I feel I am being selfish and mean.
“But what is the ideal thing to do? In a small town in India, one doesn’t get a dream job and cannot maintain a lifestyle they have always wanted. Moreover, the parents are so comfortable in their city and making them adjust into a new one will be injustice to them. The fight between the mind and the brain is an unsolved mystery.”
While the society has moved on to accepting the third gender, lawfully, the society hasn’t yet digested the fact. “Lawfully, we are getting recognition, thanks to multiple activists and communities fighting for it.
But has the society accepted it completely? I don’t think so,” quips Saina Jahan,32, a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
“Being well educated and well informed of my rights and the law of the land, I still have to force my way into standing at par with ‘others’. Think about those who are oblivious and an easy target.
This very society comprising of us makes it difficult even for the family to take a stand.
In public, we are often at the receiving end of molestation, harassment and exploitation. Unless we are above all this, how are we ever going to be at leading positions in different professions?
You expect us to prove our mettle and yet intimidate us at the same time to ensure we don’t grow and prosper” quips Saina.
#All views are those of the individual respondent’s and Pune365 does not necessarily subscribe to them.
Reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @KaurKaur18
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