I love this man Ronaldo. He is a great footballer and all that, strutting on the football fields like a peacock and obviously rolling in the stuff.
But even such a huge star is prone to make a mistake. The poor chap has decided to wed both his girlfriends on the same day. I have great pity for him already. I am already praying to the Lord Almighty to deliver my hero into greener pastures once the madness is over.
Such a happy chap, this Ronaldo is at the moment. He has two girlfriends whom he can pick and choose by the day, probably even toss a coin over them.
Of course, the two women, Priscilla Coelho and Beatriz Souza wouldn’t mind as long as they get attention, equal, or almost equal.
Plus Ronaldo can do some extra time elsewhere. Being a superhero, he can conduct a sudden raid on a different goal altogether, But things will change post August for this great man. Bound and chained in the institution of marriage, Ronaldo will be a marked man forever.
There will be no extra time, no dodging and absolutely no raiding. He will become firmly part of the threesome with all avenues of escape sealed.
He won’t get a chance to toss. They will toss for him. The poor chap will be stifled and trapped. His football skills will come under severe stress as he tries to wriggle his way out of two strong defenders.
They will push him, nudge him and with clever footwork keep him in range. He may be elbowed a bit and if he gets too aggressive, then a quick foot placed strategically will bring him down. And there are no red cards here.
Then the boredom of playing under the same conditions will bog him down no end. He may lose his skills, become skinny and look older than his age.
My hero is a condemned man already. I can imagine this bald man a few years down the line, sitting in a quiet corner at the bar, gulping down whiskey and trying to avoid company.
His drawn face, sunken cheeks and glazed eye would be far away from the real image of the dashing superstar.
O How the mighty have fallen! He should have known. You can’t take on Barcelona and Real Madrid in the same match while turning out for Malaga in La Liga.
In football terms, Ronaldo has scored a self goal. How horrid is that, O Fenômeno!
I could see Ronaldo singing “Don’t Cry for Me, Brazil”. Just then the alarm clock went off and I woke up with a start.
#The views expressed in this column are those of the Authors and Pune365 does not necessarily subscribe to them.