When Mothers Just Refuse To Let Go Of Their Married Sons

Relationships - Mother Vs Wife
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Being a parent is not easy. All the nurturing and care eventually comes down to letting the child fly away from the nest to choose their path…

Yet, letting go of a part of you isn’t as easy as it sounds. The parent is always heart broken, and only time and patience can help fill the void.

Experts believe the most critical need of good parenting is knowing when to back off. The ability to allow your children to learn from their mistakes and gain the strength to overcome the perils of their life is the essence of maturity building…

Unfortunately, this isn’t the reality with most Indian families and the son is forced to manage the complexity of a overly possessive mother and his wife.

“Yes, juggling between both the ladies is now taking a toll on my personal well-being even though it’s just 8 months since we have been married,” shares Kartik Pujara, 30.

“I am torn between the old school mother and the progressive independent woman.

“My mother fails to understand that my love for her hasn’t diminished and she is equally important for me. How do I make my wife call my mother every day and that too, before she calls. Yet, I know, my mother needs to know that she is important for us,” adds Kartik.

“Although he is used to cooking and has done it all these years living away from his family, once he is married, he is expected to be served a five course meal!

“Despite him loving cooking more than me, he is ‘supposed’ to stay out of the kitchen because ‘Ye uska kaam nahi hai’,” quips Sheena Singh, 31.

“Why is looking after household chores only a woman’s job? Simply because this is what we learnt over the years from our parents and grandparents.

“Parents need to come out of being the eternal guardian angel and let kids handle life and all that comes with it. It is tough but finally, parents want their kids to mature well,” she exclaims.

With adulthood comes the added pressure to make things work with your life partner and this bond building does take centre stage…

“This complex situation has been there since time immemorial and the key is to keep things away from the glare and more so when it strikes an emotional chord,” quotes Mrinal Rai, 44.

“While it is important to be truthful, some things are best left unsaid!”

“If your mother doesn’t like certain things, stop telling her about them. If your wife is too demanding, give her a taste of her own medicine.

“But most importantly it is women who need to understand that both stand on different pedestals in your life and over involvement can affect everyone’s mental well-being.

“Mothers please believe in your boys. Give him the time and space to settle in with his partner. With him, you need to grow as well to be an understanding parent. After all, you need to believe in all that you taught him,” Mrinal adds.


#Pune365Archives – First Published in March 2019

Loveleen Kaur

Loveleen Kaur

She loves travelling, dogs, sarcasm, humour and anything that spells F O O D, in that order. A writer on a journey to make positive stories a morning ritual and give society what it needs the most - optimism !!

Reach her at loveleen@pune365.com or tweet @KaurKaur18
Loveleen Kaur