Dr Know!: I find Mum chatting up all my friends, esp the boys :(

Illustrations by Suraj Lokare

Dr Know is back. I say you guys are quite nice but totally shameless. Arre, kya-kya questions man!  As they say in Pune, total dimaag ka bhelpuri!

To be frank, I am very happy with the solid response my darlings. Keep them coming.  I mean the questions. Chee, Chee…  Dirty mind.

Anyway, not to worry. At Dr Know’s clinic it is always Mind over Matter ! 

I find my girlfriend very cute and sexy and she cares a lot for me, but every time she sees a lizard, she screams and shouts. Now, what can I do to prevent the creepy-crawlies. How I do make her understand that the lizzies are harmless.

Yaar, this is called ‘Herpetophobia’!! Very solid problem. Accha, one possibility is pest control for gecko treatment.. But tell me, when she screams and sees a lizard, hugging also must be happening in fear? If so, then let me know. I can arrange for a daily lizard courier.

Tell me frankly as I need to understand the exact behavioural pattern before I can give a totally reptilian solution.

Recommended: Head to Shivajinagar and buy some rubber lizards. If they’re out of stock, proceed to Pimpri-Chinchwad and buy the items from outside the station  These rubbers may be kept at strategic locations and dropped close to her once in a while. Once the screaming is over you can just pick it up and allow her to feel the feel of the reptile. All fear will vanish when you feel. Just go for it, bro. Mention not.

I find my Mum chatting up all my friends. In the recent past I find that she gets friendlier with the boys more than the girls. Perhaps I am watching too many films and serials and am imagining things. Should I confront my mom, or should I just let it be.

Oye! Behave baccha, behave.

This is your mother, Manjhe Aai! Serial full stop. Focus on better things. She is an adult and if she wanted to get carried away by teenagers it would have happened years ago. Chill Re!

Believe me, your friends will love her and that will make you so happy. She wants to feel young and be in young company which is not a crime. Why so much chinta at this age yaar?

Let her talk, let her be trending among your gang. It will be ekdum mast re…

Relax, and go with the flow. Mom is mom and she is supercool. Don’t feel insecure of threatened by Mom’s proximity with your pals… As they say, stay mast and happy.

Recommended: Stop feeling so insecure. She’s your mother and it doesn’t matter if she’s attractive. Be yourself, trust her and feel good that you have a Mom who is so chilled out with your gang. Instead of celebrating, you are over thinking and ruining your own happiness.

 

11June_DrKnow_Endowed illusThe other day my boyfriend complained to me that I wasn’t as well-endowed as the girlfriends of his other friends. At first, I was upset. Later, I didn’t know whether I should agree with him or not. What should I do?

Oh Teri!  Kya Insurance mein kaam karta hai kya?  All this endowment business sounds like my LIC agent. Anyway what is important to know now is his dimensions. Matlab is he the boxer type, ya trunks type or purely those Frenchie types??

See, basic fundamental data is always required to analyse an endowment issue. Anyway dear, don’t worry. Just gift him two nice pillows (preferably silk cotton ) and tell him that this is best endowment insurance he can get.

Recommended: Drop him like a hot potato. Send him a link to some nice online store where he can get endowed. Relationships aren’t about endowment or the lack of it. When you love, you must unconditionally. You’re not a doll to be carried around. You’re a young lady. Do better. Kick him where it hurts. If not anything he will never talk size again. #Dr Know’s Gyanology

Is it incorrect for girls to try playing racquet sports as they develop muscles and later find it difficult to find a suitable matrimonial match themselves?

Wah, bhai, wah! This is amazing logic. Women with muscle will not find man? Thank God Confucius didn’t say this!

Behave yaar ! What has muscle go to do with matrimony? You’re not a 33kg weakling are you? If you are then a tight muscular embrace can be trouble. Hairline fractures to cervical region accompanied possible # to ribs, Oh teri, I am sounding like these doctors man!! Ekdum radiologist types hai na?

Recommended: Boss, leave all this gecko bat and ball things! Just focus on your health and ability to take weight of bantam category (Olympics standard) and absorb all crushing verbal or physical. If nothing, just switch on selfie mode. Ekdum sahi enjoyment with minimum deployment of muscles. May the force be with you. Didn’t understand? Please read 9th grade SSC Physics guide. Force, pressure, agitated body etc.

 

Now tho it is time to say goodbye and all. Don’t worry my patients. No need to feel shy, These 365 people are not even sending me your name. Just keep writing and I will keep answering. See you next week my darlings. Just enjoy life, man (women included!). Jai Maharashtra.

 Have a question that you would like to ask Dr Know. Mail him at askdrknow@pune365.com. Please note that your questions may be edited for brevity and clarity. Absolute confidentiality assured. We will not reveal your identity (including to Dr Know!).

 

 

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