If there is anything worse than summer, it is a Pune summer!
Yes, as my dear readers would have figured, I hate the summer and Pune takes the cake in getting me really steamy in the head.
There ought to be a thermostat for god’s sake. Man was supposed to be given a fair deal and this is certainly far from it. Or did I get the plot wrong?
For those of you, who haven’t read up on our ancestry, let me explain.
Assuming Charles Darwin was right (ministerial views notwithstanding), we descended from the apes. Fine creatures, let me assure you. They knew exactly what they wanted and got in on the prowl in the dense jungles of our universe.
They had their share of fruits, companionship, oneupmanship, scorn, laughs and copulated like there was no tomorrow. Fine ancestors we had, in all respects. Now, if you were to look at their life, you will notice they were protected from the vagaries of the season and led a truly cool life.
And mind you, the umbrella wasn’t invented and yet they didn’t acquire a tan either.
They had the foliage for cover. Now, I would imagine God had this planned for us too. Somewhere, something went horribly wrong with this master plan and this is when it all started…
Lets face it, we ruined it all. We messed with his master plan and in style. We brought in the bulldozers and road rollers and created cement and monstrosities that eventually became our homes. We did it all and continue to do this every minute of our lives and actually have the gall to call it progress.
Ppahh! Progress my foot.
Accept it, we are monsters in our own right and this is didn’t come from our ancestors. They were the peace loving kind who survived well without cement and tall buildings.
Today, we sit pretty with roads that are as hot as tarmacs and yet ferry us at the pace of a snail on crutches. They ought to be used to cook eggs instead. Can do a fine job am sure.
Well, so be it. The summer is bad and I have made my point. To be fair, the blistering heat has some advantages too and can possibly help save some money for us.
For one, you don’t really have to bother to switch on the geyser for two months. And no more hand santizers this season.
You get steaming hot water in your taps and that is hot enough to work like an autoclave. So that is out of the way too
And yes, duck the expensive facial steam. All you need is to step out or open the window and face the music. Your pores will open up naturally within a minute, use the tap water (pre-heated for your convenience) and voila, you have the perfect organic facial at zero cost.
Wait, there’s more…
Heating your food needs no microwave in the Pune summer. Just place it all near your window and you will have it perfectly warmed in seven minutes flat. And you can stop worrying about radiation courtesy the microwave.
If at all, it will be death from the UV rays, courtesy the sun’s rays at their best summer fury. Far more pleasant than electrically induced microwave radiation.
And yes, coming back to my hate of the summer. That is a long story and often extends far beyond few cans of the brew. If only the state government knew how important it is to take care of one’s mental an physical well being in this season, they would make the stuff more affordable.
But then, C’est la vie isn’t it?
Jd also consults in Consumer Neuroscience and Neuromarketing, both of which are integral to his brand interventions.