In this age of ghosting, sexting and benching, relationships have got even more complex and unpredictable. The fine line separating ‘just a friend’ with ‘almost lover’ has over time got fuzzier..
The risks of cheating have only increased over time though. So many cheaters get caught out based on messages they have sent to their lover, often via social media, SMS or Whatsapp – this website even offers spy software for people who suspect their partner could be cheating.
Ultimately, we thought this may be a good time to decipher the actual definition of cheating from the horse’s mouth. We all know different people class different situations as cheating and some are more frowned upon than others. There are even some males who enjoy their partner cheating on them, so does that really count as cheating? This is called cuckolding and is more common than you think, perhaps it’s a good way to work around the urges of being attracted to others? You can read more about cuckolding on cuckin.com and also learn from other peoples situations.
Pavan Jaiswal (25), considers clingy texts and unusually close boy-girl friendships as cheating. “I didn’t like it when my girlfriend prioritized her guy-best friend over me. Late night text messages from male friends are also unacceptable. I allow 10pm as the limit, after which she isn’t supposed to talk or text male friends,” he proclaims.
Heena Vora (31), shares a female perspective. “My husband and I’ve been married a couple of years now and sometimes I feel as though he just doesn’t listen to me. He’s a spectacular spouse in the way he’s helping out around the house or with the baby. But I feel unseen or unheard a lot of the times. So I started to confide in my colleague and when my husband found our texts, he balked!
“I have never seen him so angry. I truly did not see anything wrong with it. How is confiding in a male friend any different from sharing it with a girlfriend of mine! The problem was that my colleague had always harbored feelings for me. Hence he always sought to step in when he was needed. We’re still recovering from the episode and I’ve had to quit my job,” she rues.
Interestingly, women are more prone to emotional cheating while men tend to have meaningless sexual affairs. The contrast is that emotional dependency on another tends to be more hurtful to the partner as opposed to meaningless flings with multiple partners.
Manish Nehwal (34), talks about his affair. “I wouldn’t like to call my indiscretion a mid-life crisis, but when you see all of your colleagues seeking new adventures, the home situation looks a bit drab. Despite having a love marriage I couldn’t recognize myself and the wife as the happy couple who met in college.
“So, I guess going home with a lady from the office party was one way to rediscover my former self. It is not something I would repeat, yet, it does not mean I don’t love my spouse,” he is quick to clarify.
Vanika Kaur (19), shares her unique view on the subject revealing that a purely physical affair is something she could forgive. “I could never stand it if another woman made him laugh, because that’s what I bring to the table.
Clearly every individual has defined their boundaries quite differently when it comes to cheating. It may be prudent to check with your partner on the extent of acceptable fraternising before you risk your physical and mental well being!
#All views expressed in this column are those of the individual respondents (names changed to protect privacy) and Pune365 does not necessarily subscribe to this.