It begins often subtly and only with words and demeanour that must be recognised to stay safe. After all, being forewarned is being forearmed.
Every girl and woman must remember though that the trigger could manifest in everyday conversations, body language and gestures of boys/men. This could be alarm enough, to alert the sixth sense in you. The same also applies to boys/men, who also could be at the receiving end of sexual harassment.
Pune, which has morphed from being a pensioners’ paradise to a young vibrant city, is a cauldron of such incidents taking place in colleges, work places and public places. We have witnessed brutal murders, lodging of several police complaints and cases of victims seeking from NGOs working in this field.
Using your instinct to differentiate between a friendly gesture and an advance could help you stay alert and safe. This is not to demonise a man or woman, but to be intelligent enough and not give the benefit of doubt to a statement, gesture or act, which you may feel uncomfortable about.
Understanding that the incident is a serious form of sexual harassment is important to ensure that you are not taken for granted. After all, your dignity is at stake.
Several kinds of sexual harassment is reported and pertain to cases like these:
Stalking: Only a woman can understand the fear, distress and claustrophobia she feels, when someone is stalking her. She feels so vulnerable at that point of time, that her entire body is seized with fear and helplessness.
One of my young colleagues, a few years back, narrated how she has parked her car one afternoon, opposite the Grand Hotel in Camp and encounered a young man following her till she reached a shop in Clover Centre.
She was petrified and sought help in going back to where she had parked her car. She survived it thankfully. Some could end up being a victim. Is there a remedy for this? Not really, but do speak about it and if need be, report it to the police.
Winking: Do you ever think that a wink from a man who may be a stranger or who knows you but you are not mutually friends with, is normal?
No, it’s not. You need not react strongly to it, but you ought to bear in mind that it is not acceptable.
Particularly, in small towns in India, you have gangs of boys who feel it is their right to be on an eve-teasing missiosn and winking is one way of expressing it. Remember, it has an element of sexual harassment in it.
The way you are addressed: You may suddenly find a man who could be your acquaintance or your boss suddenly getting personal by addressing you as ‘my dear’ or by some other personal term.
As long as you do not mind it because you are comfortable with the person, it’s fine. Yet, If you are offended, keep a distance from the person.
Quite similarly, a friendly handshake, a kiss or a hug is perfectly fine, but if instinctively you feel uncomfortable and offended, get alert and keep a distance.
Jokes and Puns: Women are often at the receiving end of sexually-loaded jokes which are rather carelessly shared by men in front of women. I find this highly offensive.
However, if you are in a social group, you can’t do much about it, except give it a deaf ear. However, if you are alone and a man cracks such a joke, you should keep in mind that all is not right with his attitude.
Using social media: Do you suddenly get an over-friendly WhatsApp message? If you find it odd or offensive, do send back a curt message or simply block the person.
Often, you may be driving up the wrong road, by being tolerant to such messages. You could also report to the cyber police and this works well in Pune.
One of my friends was being harassed by email messages. I helped her to send a complaint via email to Police Commissioner Rashmi Shukla. She immediately took action by asking DCP Cyber Crime to act on her case.
The perpetrator was summoned to the police and made to sign a bond that he would never do this again and that he would be monitored by the police for a few months. The harassment stopped.
Incidentally, the British Parliamentarians are presently engaged in an inquiry, under “The Women and Equalities Committee’ to tackle the issue of sexual harassment in the workplace.
This is based on a research which suggests that more than 40% of women and more than 18% of men have experienced some form of unwanted sexual behaviour in the workplace, ranging from unwelcome jokes or comments of a sexual nature, to serious sexual assault.
The inquiry will look into how widespread sexual harassment in the workplace is, and whether this has increased or decreased over time, who experiences sexual harassment in the workplace, who perpetrates it and what the impact is on different groups.
Also, action that the Government and employers should be taking to change workplace culture to prevent sexual harassment, how workers can be better protected from sexual harassment by clients, customers and other third parties. The effectiveness and accessibility of tribunals, other legal means of redress and what can be done to improve those processes and sexual harassment of women and girls in public places.
Honestly, this is so relevant for any country, including India. I recall the recent comment made by Congress MP Renuka Chowdhury who said that our Parliament too is not immune to the casting couch!
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#All views expressed in this column are the authors and Pune365 does not necessarily subscribe to them.
That's Vinita Deshmukh, Senior journalist and RTI activist who believes in journalism that reflects the views and needs of the common man.
Get Real And Stay Relevant says Vinita,
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