I think my boyfriend is gay…

My girlfriend wants to break off her relationship with me because I am of a lower caste than her and she says her parents won’t agree to the relationship. We also don’t want to upset our parents and run away like they do in the movies. Please advise what I should do.

Oh, you poor thing!!! This is mean, real mean. C’mon man, what was she doing all this while? Didn’t she know this caste funda all along?

I don’t know what is keeping you in this relationship because for me this is trouble and totally unacceptable man. She can’t suddenly turn around and throw this at you, no matter how her parents feel and react. I hope she knows that she has to live with you and not with her folks.

Honestly, my dear, If i were you I would say ‘Ok, Bye’ right now. Why take this nonsense? To hell with your caste. She didn’t romance a community, It was you the individual. So it’s time you wake up man. Aadmi hai ya pyjama?

Dr Know’s Gyaanaology: If you are deeply involved and sure about her, then just go and ask for her hand in marriage and face the firing squad. Sweet nothing will happen! But at first, both you must decide on the course of action in each of the possible situations; A Yes and a No from her folks.

Accha, don’t forget to invite me for your wedding. I love these shaadi scenes with all the dressing up…!

I have a strange feeling that my boyfriend has an affinity towards other boys. I am not sure, but I think he is gay. What should I do?

Hai La! This is so unfortunate. I do hope you have been observing his behaviour well enough. If not, please do so darling. This is important since there is a possibility that you read him wrong.

I mean why would he be seeing you if he’s just not interested in women?

It can’t be platonic beyond a point, can it? Let me understand this; Am sure you guys are physically involved and all the passionate mwahs keep getting exchanged. Do they seem different off late?  No passion kya?

Dr Know’s Gyaanaology: This is serious. You need to do some more research if you are really in love. If it’s just lust, it doesn’t matter!

Option 1: Hire a detective agency/ good friend to track his movements amongst his friends to pick up all possible signals.

Option 2: Have a serious chat with him and fill him in on what’s bothering you. He will eventually spill the beans. If nothing works, stop doubting and go on but at your own peril..

My husband and I are planning to separate and go in for a divorce. We also have a son who has come to know of the separation and has been crying a lot. Do you think it is advisable to put my son in a boarding school?

Oh, am so sorry to hear this, I can’t deal with break-ups when there is a chid involved. It’s so hard on the poor child. Please don’t add to his problems by sending him off to boarding. Your son knows what’s happening and he will only think that both of you don’t want him in your lives.

Now am sure this is not true, but think of it from the baby’s point of view..

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Please do spend time with your son. He needs you more than ever before. You should be comforting and assuring him that you both are part of his life and will remain so even post separation.

The emotional support at this stage will shape his life ahead. Its not easy growing up seeing marital discord. For God’s sake don’t pack him off elsewhere. It will only break him further.

Everytime my boss eats lunch, he burps. It’s so disgusting. I can even get the sound while I am writing this question. Is there a medical solution to this? I am so fed up that I was willing to quit, until a friend suggested I write to you…

Oh baby, this is one helluva digestive disaster! I don’t envy you!

’Pudin Hara’ among other things can help. Not a bad idea to keep a bottle with you. Each time he ‘burrrrrps’, you can pour him a little water and add few drops of it and give it to him. He may just get the drift.

Antacids can work well too so you can keep them lying around, with one bottle as close to his workplace as possible! After all, your’e only helping the boss! You can add a card to it that reads ‘Happy Burpifull day’.

This is at your own peril, Don’t come to me bawling later. Uff!, I hate kids crying.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Burping and belching are normal body reactions to swallowing air while eating etc. This air is released often with an embarrassing sound from the mouth and oesophagus commonly termed a burp. It would be a good idea for your boss to chew his food well (remember what your UKG miss used to say?) and eat slowly.

Normally, eating fast and running through a meal can cause this condition among other things. Even using the harmless straw to drink can cause air to be swallowed, resulting in some nice burps. It’s simple dearie, gas has to escape from somewhere na, so it’s one sound vs the other!

For the record, excessive air causes Hiccups. Regular OTC (over the counter) antacids and other herbal formulations may be used to relieve the excessive gas formation.

Ta ta my Darlings!

Be good and don’t you dare flirt to much; It’s not good for the Jejunum!  Keep those sharp ones coming. Mail me at editorial@pune365.com putting Dr Know in the subject line

Illustration by Suraj Lokare

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