Staying Single By Choice

 

International Women’s Day Special

Marriage! It was generally believed that a woman’s ultimate dream will culminate when this happens. But times have changed and so have the norms for marriages

There are women who prefer to tread a road less travelled. We speak to a few fierce ladies in the city who have chosen to remain unmarried, beyond the so-called, marriageable age and have not given in to societal pressure.

“I am extremely ambitious and not yet ready for my wedding, Sanika Shinde, 28 quips..

“ Marriage is a commitment and hence, get into it when only when you want to ! I don’t understand the concept of getting married for the sake of it. It involves two people and their families and for the rest of their lives. It’s not a game that you have to win at any cost before 25.

“Yes, my parents ask me to choose a groom and I have fights with my family over this. But I know I will stand by what I believe. “After all, it is my life, I am an adult and I have the complete right to choose.

“Some people even call me characterless and say I am not getting married because I want to have fun with many guys. But, I don’t care,” she adds.

“I have been married once before. I was 17 then,” Trupti Deshpande, 46, reveals.
“I did not know what I was getting into. I was too young. I realised after a few years that I was being treated a slave. “ I had to seek permission for everything, even for having dinner. I was neither in an abusive relationship nor was my husband an infidel but I was tired.

“ I wanted to live on my own terms and after 10 years of the relationship, I filed for divorce,” she says. “It was a difficult time. Many times I even felt guilty for wanting to live separately. “Nevertheless, I accepted myself.

Since then, I have been single. Now, I am earning, learning new things in life and at peace with myself.

“Yes, it is difficult to be without a partner but my daughter is a big support. Honestly, it was the best decision of my life!”

Gemma Thomas, 55, confides, “I am a nun so I have to abstain from marriage. But, nobody forced this decision on me.

“ In fact, none of my family members were very religious. Nonetheless, my childhood experiences brought me very close to God,” she says.

“Honestly, I used to hear that a nun’s life is difficult. But, on the other hand, I feel blessed that I am a nun. God is everything to me and he is with me. Nothing is missing in my life,” she adds.

“I was the only kid to my parents. And, because I was so attached to them I decided, I won’t go to someone else’s house,” Sukhvinder Kaur, 60, says.

“I tried to find a man, who was ready to be a ‘ghar jamai’ but it did not work out.

“People thought I am crazy and too bold for a woman. But, I am stubborn. So, I am still single and proud of it.

“I have great friends and I often spend time in orphanages. My parents wanted me to start a family but I was sure I won’t leave them.

“They gradually understood that it was not a sacrifice for me. I was making a choice at my own will without any baggage,” she says.

“I did well professionally, pampered them a lot and I think that was the ultimate goal of my life. Now, they are no more but I cherish every moment I spent with them.”

Sakshi Arora