After spending years believing that your parents are your biological own, finding out you’re adopted can be an earth-shattering revelation. Some teens rebel, while many others tend to rethink their whole lives.
Aranya Dixit is one such teen, who tells us her poignant story..
“When I was thirteen, my parents took me to an animal shelter. Having spent days and weeks preparing to bring home the perfect pet, the much-awaited day had finally arrived,” she says. “I had a litter-box in my room, tins of cat-food stocked in the kitchen and even a little kitty scratching post back home just waiting for the new arrival.
“After locking eyes with and kitten after kitten, I finally spotted the tiny black thing huddled in a corner of the play-pen away from the other kittens.
“‘She’s mine,’ I said.”
“I knew it the moment I lay my eyes on her. ‘Smoky’ as she would later be called, drove home with us soon after, purring in my lap the whole time. After the initial excitement of settling her in, my parents exchanged a strange glance and then sat me down for the conversation that would change my world.
“‘Aranya, you’re adopted.’ They said.”
Aranya shares that it was indeed tough finding out she was adopted. “Back then, it felt as though my whole life had been a lie. My parents weren’t my parents!” she says. “While my thirteen-year-old mind reeled, my mom spoke up. She asked me to remember my longing for a kitten and my insistence on the fact that I’d be a great ‘mom’ to my furry baby.
“She spoke of how I’d spent months learning about cats, and then weeks stocking up on everything Smoky could possibly need. All the while holding so much of love in my heart that I was waiting to give to my newest family member.
That was when father stepped in..
“He said they’d felt the same way about having a baby and not being able to conceive one had greatly saddened them. ‘Then we met you!’ He’d said joyously explaining that they’d chosen me just as I’d chosen Smoky and that I was very special to them.”
It is not unusual for children to feel disconnected from their folks after finding out about the adoption. Aranya admits that it made her wonder why her parents chose to tell her then.
“Was it because they thought I had a right to know or merely because they had had just about enough of me? Then there is the dreaded feeling that my past was out to haunt me. Did my biological parents want to know me!?” she recalls sharing that she spent the next few weeks stressing over these ideas.
“It took me a week of bawling and many months of reassuring cuddles with mom, to see sense. Yet it was only when I was older that I was able to truly appreciate the special way in which they broke the news to me,” she smiles.
The 27-year-old software engineer is now closer to her folks than ever before. Aranya has a message for parents who plan to break the news to their children.
“There’s no way to cushion the blow. But do plan this moment sooner rather than later for your child. My parents made it easier for me to relate with them.
“Also, do remember to assure your child that they’re special and that you expressly chose them,” she says signing off.
#Respondent names changed to respect individual privacy
- StartupStory#80: Gharobar – Avani And Rashmi On Empowering Home Based Entrepreneurs - February 19, 2018
- When Your Favourite Pav Bhaji Turns Quirky - February 17, 2018
- Middle Eastern Cuisine – This Is The Real Thing! - February 14, 2018
