I have always admitted that beer has been my favourite tipple since I first tasted it at age 10 from father’s mug when he was busy watching a football game.
I have never regretted that little incident which unravelled that many splendored liquid gold made from barley. I have been through the whole gamut of drinks – from the finest single malt to vintage wine – but beer always won hands down.
So you can well imagine my plight when waiting at the dentist’s, I came across a research magazine with a front page header that read ‘Climate Change Could Make Beer Drinking Much More Expensive”.
I recoiled in horror, sweat running down the side of my face, as I picked up the magazine with trembling hands. Surely this is some sort of a joke.
Am sad to state that this damning report very clearly explains that barley production will be affected by climate change, leading to shortage of barley and in the process skyrocketing the prices of beer.
The supply of beer could come down by 16 per cent in the years to come after repeated and long heat waves and drought.
The authors of the report went on to add that crop production in barley-growing areas globally will decrease by three to 17%. They added, rather gleefully, that beer drinkers in Ireland may have to shell out 43 to 338% more in the coming decades!
Alas, the news shattered me so much so that even the dentist’s drill probing in to sensitive parts of the mouth did not matter any longer…
With a heavy heart I slunk out of the dentist’s clinic, made my way to the nearest bar to fortify myself with that soon-to-be rare commodity.
After a quick bottoms-up, I ordered another pint as the news began to sink into me further. This was the most unfortunate thing to happen to mankind since the World Wars and Donald Trump’s election.
Sipping the second one in a more leisurely fashion, I spoke to the barman about it. He nodded vigorously and sympathised. He also rubbed his hands gleefully, knowing that he had got hold of a big piece of news from me which he would revealed to one and all that evening.
Barmen are notoriously talkative and they are better and faster carriers of news than the media. By tonight, he will be the centre of attention for sure.
Climate change eh? Isn’t that an old grouse all over the world at the moment. Have been hearing about greenhouse gas emissions, deforestation, pollution etc for a long time now.
So what are the governments doing all over the world? We voted them in to do good things to our world. But look at those paunchy slobs who only love to talk big and do nothing.
After venting my anger at these blokes with a few choice words which laid suspicions on their lineage and sex life, I moved on home not in the best frame of mind.
After relaxing in my favourite armchair, then reaching out for another beer, I still hoped that some miracle would happen. God had been unfair to those barley farmers who depended of beer sales for their livelihood.
I could imagine their children begging at street corners to put the dinner on the table. God would have been better off if he had focused his attention on some other crops which did not matter much to humanity.
While I was pondering over which plant God should have attacked, a sudden thought occurred. I suddenly felt relieved.
It’s 50 years from now isn’t it? I won’t be alive then. Suddenly, the world seemed to come alive again. I reached for another…
##The consumption of alcohol, tobacco can seriously damage your health. Pune365 strongly discourage their use.