Raising a child is tough and one of the probable reasons for this is the huge expectations that parents have of these young minds.
Pune is witnessing an increasing trend of parents wanting their children to excel in everything possible, be it academics, dramatics or even martial art!
This unfortunate trend is believed to be taking a huge toll on the normal development of children in our city. Parents are today competing with their peers to have their children showcase their talent across pursuits, that most often are not what the child wants…
We spoke to a cross section of Puneites to understand this trend; some believe that one should let the child grow up normally, others opine that moulding young minds at an early stage will help them in their overall development and prepare them for the competitive world we live in.
Dr Manish Bajpayee, leading psychiatrist, opines, “Parents sometimes have their own failures. To fulfill their own dreams, they force their children. Children go through a lot of stress due to their busy schedule. Parents have expectations from their children to excel in whatever they do which builds up the stress. Although this is not common, it is a cause of depression in children..
Do the children enjoy this ? Is the stress of the eternal pursuit for excellence robbing them of their childhood ?
Tarveen Kaur (29), a mother of a four-year old wants her son to excel in extra-curricular apart from academics. “I want him to be active, smart and help him have an overall development. In this techno-savvy age, I don’t want him to stay at home stuck to the cellphone, playing video games or watching TV. At school also, teachers want the students to learn drawing and dancing so that they keep up with the other students and don’t lack behind. Hence, I send him to dance and painting classes on alternate days so that he learns these before he decides on taking any one further, that interests him.”
“My entire day is divided into hours allotted for different activities,” says Ayush Agarwal (10). “After coming from school, I eat and sleep till 5 pm when my tuition teacher comes. Till 7, I complete my homework, snack on something and then leave for the guitar class. I return back by 8-8:15 pm then spend some time with my family, eat and sleep.
“I learn guitar and art on alternate days and on weekends I attend three class: guitar, art and football. There are times when I don’t feel like sleeping in the afternoon and play instead, so I sneak out when my mother is not there. But after returning from my classes I am tired and drained,” he adds.
Vivek Singh (20) speaks his story. “I never got a chance to roll in the mud and play late, as I was often made to engage in extra-curricular activities. I was send to a sports academy to play, which I could have very well done with my friends on the street. I never enjoyed it as there was too much technique involved in it. There were days when I used to cry a lot to skip a class and sleep the day out.
“I remember how my mother told me that if I skip the class, the teacher won’t repeat the lesson, and I will be left behind. She often used to cite how my friend was doing well in all the three classes he addended daily and I couldn’t manage two. I knew I wasn’t outspoken. I enjoyed staying at home, reading books or helping the maid in gardening but the pressure to excel in everything was stressful” he recalls.
Neel (36) feels that children need to understand that parents do this to pave their future. “It doesn’t necessarily happen that a kid wants to become a doctor or engineer. He might want to become a sports person, sculptor or artist. But how will he know that he likes doing it if he never attempts them?
“Okay, I agree, that is a lot on stress on them, but they have to buckle up to be in line with the society. I was never sent to a piano class, but off-late, I started enjoying it. If I was exposed to it earlier, maybe I would have been a musician rather than a business man. I can do this now only for my entertainment, not a career,” he adds.
Reach her at loveleen@pune365.com or tweet @KaurKaur18
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