Ghosting – The Great Indian Disappearing Act!

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While the end of a relationship is far from exciting, ghosting trends decree that you may not even know it’s over.

For the uninitiated, you’ve been ‘ghosted’ when the object of your affection abruptly disappears. Forever. Or so it feels..

This unannounced disappearing act makes them inaccessible via text, emails or even calls.

These Puneites with vanishing partners share their saga with us..

“As men, we have a fight or flight response to everything a woman says. So, when she comes to you with a ‘we need to talk’- your gut instinct is to flee and rightly so!”

Quips Ayan Kaul, thrilled to bits about his ghosting strategy. “I simply start acting busy and avoid her as if she were the plague. She assumes she’s at fault and soon stops contacting me. It’s brilliant,” he beams.

Rishab Ghosh is another who admits ghosting is a quick remedy for melodramatic partners. “Imagine hearing her out each time. She would state a list of problems, that you would be expected to fix after a lengthy discussion.

“The next week is when she evaluates your performance and should you do poorly (and trust me, there’s no win-win scenario) there will be another discussion. This probably includes tears and will ruin your binge-drinking plans.”

“I want to meet the man who invented ghosting and treat him to a drink. Bravo fella!” grins Rishab.

Viren Chowhan has been at the receiving end of such emotional abuse. He reveals that the gradual fade out is very painful. “You can feel her being distant. Suddenly she prioritizes plans with friends, and then co-workers and even enemies over you. I waited for her all month. She would cut my calls, put me on hold almost immediately, if she answer eventually.

“I yearned for some us-time on weekends and ended up with endless waits that were rewarded with a hurried good night. That was the fade out, and now we don’t even talk anymore, because suddenly one morning weeks ago, it was over for her.”

Nisha Chowhan has much to say about her brother’s ordeal. “One may not realize how ghosting hurts when they inflict it. But I’ve seen my brother break down when he went through it.

“You got into the relationship willingly, so at least have the respect to end it up-front. Being non confrontational is pure cowardice. You swore you care about them after all!”

Snehal Mehta a city-based mechanical engineer shares her story. “I’d just opened up to my boyfriend about my abusive father. He heard me out sympathetically, but pulled a disappearing act on me after two days. I guess he thought I was too damaged for his liking.

“But, we’d been dating a year. I shared my family woes with him thinking it would bring us closer. Coming from a man who frequently spoke of popping the question, the ghosting hurt,” she reveals.

Essentially a way to dehumanize the breakup, ghosting is an excellent strategy should you date bots. Most humans deserve communication on the impending culmination of your tryst.



#Respondent names changed to protect their individual privacy. All views expressed are those of the individual respondents. 

Aditi Balsaver

Aditi Balsaver

A rapacious reader and animal lover, Aditi is a traveler on weekends and a writer at night..
Aditi Balsaver