#PisoliDiaries – Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner

Aliens for dinner
Image used for representation only

 

I just read a fascinating report in The Independent that suggests that aliens may be pretty similar to us. This unfortunately explodes our mental images of strange looking beings with humungous heads and endowed with eyes that emit laser beams..

Quite disappointing to be honest, considering the amount of celluloid that’s gone in bringing us closer to these characters from the unexplored universe.

But as always, there is an interesting flip side and this is where my favourite topic, the dense jungles of Pisoli comes into play. I have, as my readers may recollect, been extremely graphic with my descriptions of this innocuous part of Pune district.

Now before I get into the exciting prospects of aliens, let me update you on the latest visitor we had at Pisoli; the venomous of them all, the Russell’s Viper.

Huge, well fed, well marked and with fangs the shape of the famed Khukri of Nepal. It is only appropriate that I mention that this chap can scare the daylights off a rhinoceros and is probably capable of knocking them cold with its venom.

Fortunately. this chap had other places to visit and before my neighbours could react, slithered away into oblivion. Or so I would like to believe.

So, as I was saying, (now this is a significant problem when you hit the nubile young age of 50, you tend to go astray!) I was discussing this celestial stuff with the missus over my customary chilled can and asked her If we could fix a date to invite these chaps over for a drink and some home cooked Mallu food.

Before you get me wrong here, this is not the viper family. I was referring to the alien friends (who apparently resemble us) and who probably can do with a good drink to help them orient themselves with our land.

It would be interesting to understand what these chaps do with their lives, you know.

As I had expected, the wife didn’t think too much off this idea, and in fact, questioned the brand I was sipping. It took me over eight minutes to convince her of my sobriety, but that is a separate issue. These things happen quite often.

But the good thing is that we agreed to invite them over and have planned a rather elaborate evening very soon. 

While I have left her to decide on the menu, I am now in the midst of intensive research on what these blighters drink. I haven’t had much success with Google on this and have now shot off an urgent mail to a few chaps who have been on the space station. I thought they may be well informed, considering their proximity to other planets. Am hoping these astronauts take some time off from their floating to fasten themselves to their laptops and reply to me.

I am not sure how good their internet connectivity is actually. and am hoping it is superior to what we see here in Pune, though.

Somebody did mention though that these celestial beings may not know the difference between coke and rum, so I may settle on giving them single malt instead.

I honestly don’t know the difference between a single malt or a double malt, save the fact that the former costs quite a penny and am blessed to prefer a good beer over these liquids with complex sounding names. Almost straight out of a Potter film resplendent with young chaps flying around to chase a weird ball that has a mind of its own.

But this isn’t the point of all this. The matter of importance now, really concerns pressing issues like aliens over for dinner at Pisoli and whether the single malt is called for.

I have, meanwhile, taken a few lessons on taking these selfies or groupies as they are called; All, only to ensure that I can update you, my readers, with the latest from our backyard.

I am told by reliable sources (who are into this space stuff) that I need to keep a well-lit space demarcated for their flying contraption. Apparently, a circular area in our garden with lights all around; consequently, the light pipes from this Diwali will be put to use. Just think of all one has to go through just to figure what these chaps are upto! All for science as my favourite Sheldon Cooper would quip.

Now my readers, if I may be excused, I have to get back to organising the dinner with the boys from outer space.

Jaisurya Das

Jaisurya Das

The industry affectionately calls him a Marketing Maverick; Known to be brutally candid with his writing as much as everything else, Jd is a much respected media and brand commentator whose prolific writing sees no boundaries.

Jd also consults in Consumer Neuroscience and Neuromarketing, both of which are integral to his brand interventions.
Jaisurya Das

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