A new year always means time to ruminate on the year that was and attempt to set goals for the year to come. I wonder what it felt like for Hillary Clinton heading into 2016. I imagine Trump did not really think 2016 would end the way it did for him. As for me, going into 2017 means a complete mind reset. Because 2017 is certainly not going to be the way I imagined. I imagined I would have a new President but Potus would belong to my gender. I imagined the world would continue as predicted. I imagined, I cannot say what I imagined because it certainly is not going as per my imagination.
One thing is for sure, I dislike making New Year resolutions because either they invariably get broken or I torment myself. I remember years ago, in my bid to lose weight, I decided to stay away from desserts and alcohol. That was a miserable year. At midnight on December 31st, I found myself stuffing my face with pastry and at the same time guzzling a bottle of champagne. I felt sick. That’s when I swore, ‘Never again’. ‘Moderation girl’, I told myself otherwise I would binge again.
But this year I am beginning to wonder whether I should resolve to follow some well-meaning advice from my friends: “You have to start dating or better still remarry!” This is a constant refrain from those who care for me. Marriage? After having been there and done that? Not quite. Regardless of the age-old arguments of security, comfort and the need for companionship, I enjoy my solitude and freedom. And while solitude is necessary, I am definitely not lonely.
New York city is such a vibrant city I can be out every night if I so please. And for a while in the beginning, I was out every night! I also tried the meet-up route and met a few interesting people. Like at the wine lovers meet-up after which a few of us broke away and instantly became a whiskey appreciating group.
Or the over 50’s meet-up where I met someone with a heart condition who wondered if I would be interested in seeing him even as he popped some pills. To be fair, he was interesting because he had a cultural appreciation that many others in that group did not have. But still, a pill popping 70-year-old is a bit too extreme. I remember meeting someone whose world revolved around the West Village. His favorite restaurants, his community garden, his gym, his place of work was all contained in that finite radius. He was content in his little West Village world but for a global me, this was too narrow a world view.
So no thank you, I veered well away from meeting anyone after these initial forays and settled contentedly into my free-wheeling NYC lifestyle.
But friends do not like to take no for an answer and my cell phone was hijacked to sign me up on dating apps. I am lectured on my disinterested attitude to dating and informed there is nothing like an organic relationship in NYC. No one has time for that anymore. It’s a fast paced world and technology rules. Some of my friends are exasperated and if I make a comment on how no man seems to be interested in me, they insist I need to take the apps more seriously. So is there a resolution in the offing for 2017? Should I resolve to follow through on some of those dating sites I have been signed up for? Who would the right guy be? The ones who love posting selfies of their abs in a gym setting? Or how about the ones who have a comment asking where’s the beach? Maybe I should check out the ones who pout into the camera with the puckered lips? Or should I respond to the men with tattooed bulging biceps? Then there are the mystery men who upload no picture, no qualifying statement and no profile. Hmm intriguing not.
I have to admit every once in a while I do try to muster up some interest and check out the menu. But the right swipe, left swipe has me so confused, I am all over the place. And in some instances, I inadvertently swipe someone without even meaning to. “You have to right swipe everyone”, I was informed by a friend who knows it all. “Once there is a connection, you can decide whether to follow through or not.” In other words, be a tease? Or if I left swipe someone and actually mean to right swipe, all I need to do is shake the phone and he returns to the menu. Arrgh. I don’t think I will ever understand this. And my friends who mean well have actually started a few conversations for me but either I get a few monosyllabic replies and non-committal responses or I get the over enthusiastic types who immediately ask for my number and want to go for a stroll in Central Park.
Why can I not go for a stroll in Central Park and just meet Prince Charming? Or catch someone’s eyes in the crowded Q subway line? Maybe even strike up a conversation with the man of my dreams while waiting for a friend at a bar? Give me a Mills and Boon romance over Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Cheekd, Picke, Eharmony, Elite singles, Ok Cupid and Match.com.
New year resolution 2017? Nah, I think not. In any case it’s the era of thrasonical Trump, so I may as well live in my fantasy world.