Meet Rohini Pawar, The Woman Fighting Patriarchy

June 22, 2017

Dismantle-Patriarchy — Illustrations source @videovolunteers‏

Patriarchy is ingrained several gestures, traditions and cultural attitudes that reflect on our behaviour. It is so deeply entrenched that sometimes we fail to recognise it as patriarchy. Rohini Pawar, a volunteer in Walhe, with Video Volunteers (VV), a community media organisation, wondered why she never called her husband by his name. “As a volunteer, I attended training sessions. We were learning about gender inequality and the topic of calling your husband by his name came up. At that time, I never called my husband by his name but he called me by my name. This is such a small issue but it is something that has come out of patriarchy,” she says as she adds that most women get looked down upon as shameless or without morals if they say their husband’s name out loud.

The video that Pawar made for VV called ‘What’s in a name?’ surfaced online and has garnered a lot of views and appreciation from mainstream media. The video was made as part of the organisation’s #KhelBadal campaign that aims to take on patriarchy through the audio-visual medium by telling stories of men and women. In the video, Pawar asks a small group of women to say their husband’s name shyly or angrily. “Some of the women in the group have been married for over 30 years, but this was the first time they’re uttering their husband’s name. I played a few games with them and it was through these exercises that they became confident enough to speak their husband’s names. After the discussion, we all decided that we’d go home and start calling our husbands by their name.”

All the women who are a part of Pawar’s discussion groups are ASHA workers in Walhe. Pawar further adds that this didn’t go too well in a few households. “My friend’s husband called me up and asked me what I was teaching the women. Another woman’s husband slapped her after she took his name. He didn’t like it at all and she got scared. I wouldn’t want any violent behaviour to come out of this initiative. Change has to be gradual. We cannot force it.”

Speaking about her challenges, the change maker says that when she holds discussions about fighting patriarchy, most women agree with her and want to take charge of their lives. But, when they go back home, they come under the pressure of their families and lose confidence. “Ever since I started calling my husband by his name, my neighbours look at me differently. They think that I behave out of my limits!”

The discussion over patriarchy goes further as Pawar has worked in Walhe for almost a decade trying to remove the myths and taboos related to menstruation. “While women menstruate, they are made to sit separately and are kept out of the kitchen. They are completely isolated during that period. I have gone to several homes to speak to the families to not follow this convention. They need to look at women as human. We all are keen on bringing change in our homes first.”

Pawar’s sees herself helping to dismantle patriarchal structures and bringing about equality. Her wish is to ensure that all the women in her group get that chance to wear a pair of jeans. “There are women who have never even worn a kurta in their lives. It is so difficult to work in a sari as it is very limiting. My dream is to make sure that we can do what we want and wear what we want. We want to live in an equal society. Right now, we can’t do what we please and that makes us wonder, ‘Why were we born as women?’”