Life lessons for Women from Anu Aga & Meher Pudumjee

Anu Aga (left) and Meher Pudumjee

I witnessed a mesmerising session by Pune’s very own Anu Aga (Ex-Chairperson of Thermax Ltd) and Meher Pudumjee (Chairperson) at the ‘WomeNation’ event organised by CII’s Indian Women Network last week and moderated by Sudha Menon. The powerful mother and daughter were invited to share their heartfelt, honest, earnest views on “Breaking Barriers & Engineering a Great Relationship”. I have had the pleasure of knowing Anu Aga for a few years now and she continues to inspire me, empower me and challenge my thinking which helps me break my own barriers.

As you may be aware, the tempest in Anu Aga’s life began when she tragically lost her husband and even before she could grieve her grave loss, the executives of Thermax who lost their indomitable leader, insisted on her assuming the mantle of Thermax on the day after the tragedy. Of course Anu wasn’t ready, not only because she was grieving the loss of her partner who was also her best friend, but also because she kept devaluing herself. She was not confident, she did not believe in herself, she had self-doubt and was scared. Searching for a way to cope, a way to come to terms with what had happened, and that’s when she found Vipassana, a Buddhist form of meditative penance. This transformed her life and prepared her to take on Thermax’s chairmanship –Anu decided to give her best, which was going be different from her husband’s best.” And that was ok. The answer to life’s toughest questions she says lies within us, Vipassana was her medium to discover what’s within. For us, it might be something else, but we need to find that something that enables us to look “within” where all the answers are.

So what are some of the key things that women need to follow their passion, to achieve more and be more ?

Firstly – shun perfection. Don’t strive to be—perfect a mother, wife, professional – save yourself the guilt pangs and don’t devalue yourself.Close down the guilt manufacturing factory.

Secondly – look for answers within, figure out that one thing that will make you take the journey inwards and help you set your goals and make a plan (A, B, C). Alternate plans are very critical.

Third – seek role models and organizations with more women-centric policies.Don’t lose out on the important aspect of mentorship.

Fourth – don’t shy away from asking for help whenever and wherever needed. Garner support from family, friends, co-workers, and outsource wherever it makes sense. We don’t have to do everything ourselves

Fifth – Spend enough time networking and building relationships, go and connect with people

And finally talk about yourself, communicate effectively, let people know and hear about your achievements.

So to all the women out there… stop being guilty, it is a completely wasted emotion, go confidently in the directions of your dreams, they usually know the way.  Chasing your dreams will let you Live the life you have imagined!

A very heartwarming part of this mother-daughter conversation on stage was Parenting and Relationship and Work-life Balance. Anu and Meher enjoy a great relationship, they are great friends and spend a lot of time together. Meher talked about her work, and how she struggled with balancing between work and being there for her kids so they turn out to be really good human beings, achieve great success, fame and happiness. She spoke about the need for women to follow their own dreams. More often than not, we get caught in sacrificing ourselves for our families and stop having our own dreams… Sacrifice according to Anu Aga is a dirty word, women often associate sacrifice with greatness, which is grossly erroneous. What we do is a choice we make for our life and it should not be termed a sacrifice.

Women play so many roles. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter and a businesswoman and I have a lot of “guilt” which strings all these roles together. Aga trashed this guilt which is deeply ingrained in all us Women. She said we manufacture our own guilt, we take cover under this guilt. We believe or have been led to believe that managing a home is all our responsibility.  A large percentage of women drop out from work after they have children. Women think that “changing diapers, giving kids a bath, and feeding kids are only a mother’s responsibility”. Well, it’s not, fathers need to pitch in. We hear a lot of women say the husbands never help, but a point to ponder is “Do we women ever ask?”We should be ready to transfer some of the responsibility, so we can chase our dream, work toward our careers or simply take a break from it all.  Perfectionists that we are, we worry that the house may not be as clean and tidy, the kids won’t get their healthy food, but you know what, it’s Ok. Your kids will learn to be more independent, fathers will learn to “lean in more” and this will carve out a beginning for us to move beyond our home and think of ourselves

 

 

Rupal Sancheti
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