How To Turn The Tables And Annoy Your Husband

July 7, 2018

Irritating Partner — Image used for representation only

Marriage is a great alliance. It is the meeting of two like-minded souls whose hearts beat like one. It’s the kind of stuff which has inspired poets to great heights and writers to wax lyrical about it.

But marriages can get boring sometimes in the long run. The male of the species are usually staid characters in front of their wives and a cavalier, happy-go-lucky dude in front of friends, particularly of the female variety.

This can give his wife or partner a few options to play with her husband, twist him around on her little finger with gay, sorry girlish, abandon.

So here we go with some tips to make the male crawl on his legs or grovel in front of you.

Talk Dirty While He Eats: This is a wonderful idea, an ‘ugh’ moment which will repulse him. Just when he is about to take bite exclaim loudly and relate a story about how you found a floating, smelly piece of cheese in the refrigerator with description in terms of colour, shape and size. The reaction is worth a video. You can extend this to periods, omitting no details.

Make Him Feel Frustrasted: Pick up his calls randomly and pretend the line is not good. Occasionally say one word and cut the line. Stretch this to a few hours and then call five hours later and inform him you were in a no signal area.

Extra Attention To Random Guys: Make sure you give extra attention to random guys. The coy glances and oohs and aahs will spread venom quickly into his body. Turn back to look at the guy to make his blood pressure breach the normal limits.

Speak To Nice Looking Men: Stop and say Hi to a good looking man. Make the partner feel small and ugly while you admire the man’s body, pausing around the middle area to make him blush and then walk away swaying the hips a little more. This is a Blushing Moment for him.

Wear Tatty Clothes: Wear dull, ill-fitting clothes while going for dinner. Make sure to make some comments that all your good clothes are running out. He will be embarrassed. This may win you a double bonus because he may buy you some new apparel the next day. Push your luck.

Household Chores: Make him do it while he is watching an important game on TV. Give him 10 tasks to complete within an hour. Do it when the game starts. This will irritate him.

Eating Out: Buy salad, ignore it and start eating from his plate, praising the food at all times. A hungry man becomes a tiger.

Interruptions: Make frequent calls to him when he is having a boy night out and he will be hopping mad.

Turning On: Get nice and cozy with him, turn him on and walk off quickly. This will annoy him no end. This is a sure shot winner.