Going to the gym is the “IN” thing these days.
There is a daily barrage of health alerts and constant reminders in the media and elsewhere on the benefits of walking the treadmill or working out among the weights.
There are pictures of these wonderful models with hourglass figures doing arm exercises and a male trainer who has rippling muscles that make you feel puny. And those men without shirts, every muscle carved to perfection like Greek Gods.
So don’t get depressed after seeing these two-legged creatures that may be more blessed than others.
Do like everybody does – join the nearest gym whether you like it or not.
Here are a few suggestions which may at least enhance your reputation if not your muscles:
Join the gang: Join the gym and make sure every living being in your surrounds hears about it. It is imperative that you also mention this fact frequently whenever you bump into neighbours, friends and even foes (you can make them jealous).
Brands matter: Wear sportswear from known brands – Nike, Adidas, Puma, Reebok and others. And you can jokingly comment that Roger Federer and you share the same brand to get them to notice. You score a bonus point with this.
Buy a belt and gloves: It not only helps your rickety back but hides your beer-belly a tad. You also look like a serious gym person, gloves and all, who cares about your liquor and smoke-infested body which you are actually happy with.
Ironed gear: Yes, a well-ironed tracksuit will imply that you mean business and you love your workout so much that you are well turned out too. Wear full sleeves at all times so that that puny thing you call muscle will be well hidden.
Make gym friends: This is vital. Talking in-between sets is so helpful to you. It helps entertain and distract from the otherwise laborious chores which you have to perform. Once you get to know these friends better you can have a ball discussing politics, religion, science (if your muscles don’t extend to your brain), and how “Salma Hayek displayed her wonderful attributes in From Dusk To Dawn etc”.
Music: Earphones are a must. It looks very professional and keeps you occupied.
Television: Make sure the gym has a television set. You can spend a good five to 20 minutes watching songs. It can also help you distract yourself while you attempt to do the treadmill at the slowest pace possible.
Boast: Always boast about your past achievements and how you had muscles like Hrithik Roshan but unfortunately you lost it after a falling off a chair (don’t mention you were drunk as hell when this happened).
The feminine touch: It is a must to chat with all the women in the gym. They are not only a delight to the eye but also a pleasure to be with. They are also a good source of conversation. With those you fancy getting closer to than normal friendship,make sure that you actions do not reach your better half.
Exercise: Do a bit and follow the methods above. You will be a winner.
If you are an owner of a gym, you will want to cover your business with something like gym insurance from fitness gold.
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