Getting Over A Breakup -The Wagoner Survival Manual

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It makes you feel heartbroken, lost, listless and totally unwanted. Breakups are a painful process almost everybody goes through in their lives.

The whole world which you have built around you comes crashing down like a pack of cards. Life becomes surreal, there is a constant need to clutch at straws as hope gives way to finality.

Breakups lead to negativity which takes long to come out of. The false bravado immediately following the breakup doesn’t last too long. The feeling of revenge which surges through the being slowly dies into a martyr-like sadness.

But there are ways you can get back on the rails after running through the whole gamut of emotions.

Here are some tips for the battle the breakup but there are no guarantees:

Survive: The most difficult part of any breakup is the actual parting either at the court, if married, or at whichever place it happens. Let your survival instincts take over and try not to cry.

Meet a Friend: Don’t go home. Meet a friend and bawl until kingdom come. Crying clears the bottled-up emotions and makes you calm.

Stay Out: The night is going to be difficult. Stay out as long as possible and keep a friend to talk to around. You will feel like an unwanted human, so wallow in self-pity with the friend. Play romantic songs which were associated with your ex-partner and sink further into the depths of depression. See romantic films too. Then cry your guts out.

Activity:  Now get active the next day and the next. Make sure you are not alone for long.  There is a lot of re-organising of your life to do.

Binge: Go on a binge. Eat all the foods you avoided so far. Have double burgers if needed be with lots of chips, or a large pizza with all the works.  Forget the weight. The next step will take care of that.

Exercise: Start walking or hit the gym. Walking reduces the stress and your pent up emotions will find an outlet when you work out.

Help others: Helping others gets you into a good state of mind and this can help you too.

Time: Is the greatest healer.

But here are a few don’ts which must be borne in mind:

Alcohol/Drugs: These are the first logical step that take over. Don’t do drugs as they are mostly downers and will put you into unending depression. Alcohol if can’t be avoided is okay at the start, but stop it once your physical activity begins.

Avoid your Ex: It is a good move to avoid your former partner as it will hasten the healing. Seeing the ex may evoke unwanted emotions and set you back. If you see the ex by chance, a quick nod or small talk and speedy exit will be appropriate.

Bounce back: The most dangerous aspect. Revenge is such an overpowering human trait that just to teach your ex-partner a lesson, you may have an affair with the first person who comes your way. Avoid that as you may regret later. Revenge will leave you more confused and depressed later.

Negativity: Get rid of it. It is easier said than done. Go out more often, keep your health regime on and have fun, even it be with a wry smile. Life has to be lived and may be someone better is waiting for you.

Only a great poet can describe those feelings.

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”  ― Kahlil Gibran