Dr Manish Bajpayee: I just found out that my daughter got molested by her uncle…

Here are questions from readers that were addressed by leading psychiatrist Dr Manish Bajpayee. The identities of the solution-seekers have been withheld to protect their privacy. You too can send your questions at editorial@pune365.com

I just found out that my daughter got molested by her uncle years back when she was just a little girl. Today, she is a confident woman but she refuses to talk about this incident. I don’t know if she has actually forgotten about it since it happened long ago or just supressed the whole thing. I want to be able to talk to her and get this scar out once and for all. Please help me.

Maybe, your daughter has come to terms with it. If she talks about it, it could ramify in different ways. As her mother, you should speak out and broach the subject. If there is no response from the daughter then it is all right. The subject is out in the open and you know that your daughter is aware of it so she can reach out to you when she wants.

Dear Doctor, my son is five years old. I have been noticing his behaviour. He is very active in fact, he is quite a hyper child. I have a lot of difficulty in calming him down or even getting him to sit down quietly. Is this some sort of a disorder or should I just ignore? Please advise me.

This is most probably an attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It occurs in about eight per cent of children. It manifests in the inability to complete boring or mundane tasks like homework and other monotonous work. There is a rating scale available to check the stage of the disorder. Children with ADHD do not necessarily have a low IQ but they are unable to sustain their attention for long and unable to mature. This is eminently treatable as a psychiatrist will give medication. A few steps you can take at home is that discipline is must, sugary foods should not be allowed, watching television and gaming should be kept to a minimum and physical activity should be increased. You may also want to get in touch with someone similar to these Georgia Behavioral Health Professionals if you would like to learn more or if you are becoming increasingly worried about your son’s behaviour.

Hello Doctor, my sister’s child is autistic and she as well as her husband are finding it very hard to deal with the situation. They aren’t able to come to terms with the fact that their child is autistic and because of this they aren’t able to provide for the child’s specific needs. How can I help them? What kind of counselling do they need?

Firstly, the parents of the child should meet a child psychiatrist to understand the situation and come to terms with it better. An autistic child generally has a low grasping power. Being the parents to an autistic child, there are a lot of routine things that they have to follow. As the child grows, either he or she becomes socially withdrawn or explosive. The growth of the child depends on how well the parents handle it so they must come to terms with it. You could visit NIMHANS in Bangalore for a better consultation and guidance.

Doctor, I have this problem wherein I cannot make any decisions by myself because each time, I think that there is a flip side that I am ignoring. I am afraid to express myself. I want to become more confident. How can I change this?

This could be a social phobia with a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) in it. People who face problems while speaking in public and doubt their decisions have an element of OCD in them. If this is interfering with your personal and professional life then you must treat it with medication. Assertiveness is a quality you must develop by training yourself. To do this, you can stand in front of a mirror and practice your decisions to be more assertive. It’s all about retraining and mimicking the mind. You can surely overcome this ability.

Dr Manish Bajpayee

Dr Manish Bajpayee

Dr Manish Bajpayee is a consultant psychiatrist in Pune with over 20 years of extensive clinical experience in assessing and treating clients with a range of psychological problems and other mental health related issues. He is currently a consultant with Inamdar Hospital and Ruby Hall Clinic. Dr Bajpayee addresses reader queries every other Thursday on Pune365.
Dr Manish Bajpayee