Dr Manish Bajpayee: The other day I did something that concerned me quite a lot…

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Here are questions from readers that were addressed by leading psychiatrist Dr Manish Bajpayee. The identities of the solution-seekers have been withheld to protect their privacy. You too can send your questions at editorial@pune365.com

  1. My friends feel I’m emotionally overbearing while my family thinks I’m emotionally detached. So, there’s a major imbalance, but the only reason I subscribe to this is that it comes naturally to me. Yet the guilt of making myself a burden to my friends and at the same time, creating a void with regard to my parents is making me guilty on both ends. How do I cope with this? I go to a therapist and it doesn’t seem to be helping me with this.

If this behaviour isn’t sudden then this must be a personality trait. It would be best if your friends and family could just accept you as you are. You should live this way and you can’t change the way you truly are. These personality traits define you and your character. Though, if you want to change yourself, then it will take a long time and a lot of work. But first, others should accept and acknowledge your behaviour as it is.

  1. Dear Doctor, I have a friend and I’ve known her for a very long time now. Her father used to domestically abuse her mother and her on a regular basis. This has stopped now since her parents separated. My friend is obviously very traumatised because of all this and I want her to move forward in life. This has even taken a toll on her approach towards men in general. I understand that it’ll take her time to heal but as a friend, what can I do to comfort her?

You must be around your friend and introduce her to new people, especially men who look at things from an equal perspective and don’t abuse. Yes, it will surely take your friend time to heal as she is traumatised. There are good times and bad times. But during the bad times, your friend’s anxiety may escalate and in case this happens, you must take her to a psychiatrist or a doctor. Be there for her and listen to what she has to say. She must speak out all her worries.

  1. The other day I did something that concerned me quite a lot. I’ve been prescribed a mild dose of Clonazepam. So, I was bothered and anxious about something. It kept on escalating and I opted to take double the dose. I did it at the spur of the moment, and I don’t even know if it helped. Am I getting addicted to these? Or is this an additional call for help? I have no idea. Please advise me Doctor.

Firstly, Clonazepam taken alone as a medication isn’t advisable and it isn’t prescribed on a long term basis. Also, this medicine takes a long time to act so if you took a single or a double dose, you wouldn’t know the effect. It is not a cause to worry about. But, you should ask the doctor who prescribed it to you about how many doses you should take. This is mostly a one off thing and it is nothing to worry about.

  1. My wife and I have been happily married for 10 years now. We have kids, a nice house and a comfortable life. My wife used to work in an advertising agency but she quit later on to give her full attention to the children. Lately, I feel she’s just exhausted. I help out as much as I can but she’s just lost the enthusiasm to be active. She often has mood swings and snaps at the children for little or no reason. She shares a very healthy relationship with her mother but lately she’s cut her off too. Is this a form of depression? Please guide me Doctor.

Yes, most probably this is a case of depression. This may have something to do with your wife’s age due to symptoms of menopause or a heavy flow during her period. Intimacy between husband and wife must persist. It could also be a case of unhappiness as a couple. This can be treated by taking your wife to meet a therapist or by both of you attending couple therapy.

 

 

Dr Manish Bajpayee