Doesn’t the saree reveal a fair bit of skin & and parts of the body that are, well, best kept covered…

This is a very direct question, and request you to give me a direct answer… no ‘gyaan’ or beating about the bush. Is it wrong, unethical and immoral to have sex before marriage?

Absolutely not! After all, it’s important to have adequate amount of practise in any sport. My ancestors once told me (while they hung quite precariously from the branches of the wild banyan) “Son, Practice makes the man Perfect” By this logic, many porn actors and actresses that can be seen on sites like Nu Bay must have perfected the art of the sexual encounter.

I am a firm believer in our ancestry. It’s important to listen to our forefathers. After all our ancestors are known to be one of the most promiscuous races in the world. The bonobos, et al.

Enough of monkeying around now! Let me get back to your question my hunk of a son… Please go ahead on all the planned activities in order to perfect the art. But, yes, it’s important to be safe than sorry so invest in all those thingies with hot pix on the packs.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: There is no such thing as wrong and immoral in life. Everything is as bizarre as you make it out to be… Sex before marriage is like tasting the apple before the pie is in place! But if that’s what you want…

Ufff! these children…!

Doctor, I had requested you to write to my parents about my predicament on clothes. Please help me in making them understand.

Oh teri!!! You don’t give up huh, baby? Accha what do you want me to tell them? That they should allow you to wear those 0.050 metre designer stuff?

Or that top which has practically no weave in it, akin to our vegetable grater…? Tell me baby!!! Ok fine stop making all those sad faces and all now. I will write. Please copy-paste carefully!

Dear Parents of ….. ( please fill in the blanks since these 365 fellows don’t even send me names of my own readers! )

It is with a deep sense of regret that I write this letter… I am not sure if you are aware but your daughter…… ( please fill in the blanks darling ) is well clad and in the process so out of place.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: I am keen on her gaining acceptance with her classmates but that would mean changing her wardrobe. Emptying the wardrobe is also a solution.

Please treat this note as priority and work towards reducing the burden of clothes that she is carrying today. After all life is all about freedom and the weight of clothing just doesn’t fit in. Set her free and let her ventilate her mind and body.

Respectfully yours,

One certain counsellor in your city

I read with interest the question of this young lady and parents’ dress code. But, she should ask them about the saree. It’s the most sensuous clothing. It reveals a fair bit of skin, and parts of the body that are, well, best kept covered by the prudes. The blouse is also something that doesn’t leave much to ones imagination. So WTF! Girl, please counter your parents with this argument.

Ohhhhh ya ya !! The saree is something else, dearie. In fact it’s tough to find something as sensual as a well-draped saree. Ekdum sexy!

Such a sooooper retort this will be… Oh am so waiting to see her flaunting the saree in front of her parents. Uff! these parents are something else man. I mean they must be watching TV and all and yet have such problems with the lack of clothing..

But you know what, I sent off that answer with the letter to the folks already and now these 365 types won’t give me time to edit this.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: But, ya, sweetie, if you managed to go beyond your question, go ahead and tell them that henceforth you will only wear a saree. And then the world is at your feet. Just drop it… damn! Drape it it like the ramp models…

Before you realise it, it will be totally saxe! oooops, I mean axe, but in the reverse direction. Go ahead and show the naval types. No, no, don’t join the forces… You know na?

Ufff this auto correct!

My boyfriend insists I have long hair. I find them unmanageable. He says I look sexy in it. But who the hell wants to look sexy when managing them is such a pain. Any thoughts on what I should tell my bf. Now, please don’t see that he should like you not for your hair, but your soul and body. That sounds yuckier!

No, no, on the contrary he ought to hate you! No soul and body without the luscious hair and stuff. I don’t blame him. Long hair is ekdum sexy na. It’s like having the gentle finger tips caressing your cheek. Wah Wah!

I remember this wonderful old song which your father used to be fond off (am sure he must have liked it!) “baal baal dekho, hazaar baal dekho”. Those days, hair meant a lot.

Today, it means so much to the hair care market and yet the hair is getting shorter by the day. Smart na these fellows are? They sell you those conditioners and shampoos and Ronald Regan Oil or some such thing and then they refer you to a hair stylist..

The next thing you know is a hairdo with no hair. It’s “in’ after all!

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Awww, my sweetheart! Why are you getting so hyper. It’s only your hair. Feel free to cut it or style it anytime. Nothing will happen! In fact it will be a good test of true love.

Baal baal dekho, Hazaar baal dekho!

Now these Pune365 types are getting on my nerves.. I was just getting ready for more action and they tell me that you can’t go on writing. Short and sweet they want. This isn’t kaju barfi to make it short and sweet.

Tell these people off.. Write to me with your questions and feedback at editorial@pune365.com Believe me it’s best that you say that your mail is confidential and its only for Dr Know’s ….eyes. Ok bye for now. Ufff! Horrid media people.

Illustration: Suraj Lokare