Any decent place where my bf and I can coochi-coo?

Sir, what would you recommend as a decent place where my boyfriend and I can go coochi-coo without being branded indecent?

Oh, dearie, that is such a wonderful question. What gave you the impression that Dr Know is a walking coochi-coo locator????

Uffff, these children!! Bad enough you want to do all these coo things and now you want me, the one and only Dr Know to tell you where to go!  What cheek, baby!

And what is this coochie-poochie business anyway? If it’s mwah-mwah then you can do it at home. Your home or his. No one will arrest you or brand you indecent. If you want outdoors, then you can try buying yourself one of those tent thingeys. You can drive into the wilderness, pitch tent and make babies. So fulfilling. Coochi-coo-coo!

In all likelihood you will be spared since the ‘Common/ Indian Myna’ also makes those funny sounds. It’s all about ‘the birds and the bees’ finally.

Be sensible and beehave!

Sir, is there life before life? Can one find out who I was married to in my previous life?

‘Oh Teri!’  Here i am sifting through questions on getting out of marriage and here you are, wanting to know about past life and wife!

Funny man, I say. And moreover let her rest in peace man. Why do you want to trouble her now? Why not look at someone else? She may just be too old for someone as nubile as you, sweetheart.

But to answer your question, yes there is life before life and life after life also. I thought you would have had some basic education and learnt about our ‘eternally hanging from trees’ ancestors. They were much alive and happy then, till they morphed into these silly human things.

The monkeys have since regretted this decision and as you would have noticed, stopped morphing. Now they live with everyone else in their “eternally hanging from trees” avatar. Smart chaps they are, aren’t they darling?

Now to find out who you were married to. For me to reveal all, you will need to fix an appointment for my ‘Exclusive Digital Crystal Ball Reading’. In this reading, I will be able to show you her name, displayed digitally..

These ‘Pune365’ people don’t pay me extra to reveal all this so for now, I can only tell you that she was 5’5’’ in height, had lovely hair and was totally hot types.

Psst…you can mail me to fix an appointment. Online payment option also available! Book now for EDCBR sessions. See you soon sweetie..

Is it true that hormones are hyperactive on a full moon night? That a full moon has a Viagra-like impact on men? Please let me know… if that’s the case, I should stay away from my boyfriend on a ‘poonam ki pyaari, pyaari raat’.

Why stay away, baby? More hormone, more fun! See the ‘funda’ is very simple. I will explain; When there is a full moon, bright moonlight enters your room filling with it with a lovely, romantic glow.

And moonlight can make anyone look pretty and hot and spicy and all that.. Hormones start getting invigorated when there is beauty around and then sparks fly. Then the flower pots soar into the sky and the rockets zoom away and explode high into the sky..

You know the rest; Hum Do our Humaare Do ( we two and our two!)… children silly! Practise family planning early. It’s easier to balance that budget and stuff which you couples have to do in life.

Till then, look at the moon and sit still. Behave sweetie!

I have been reading some silly questions on the problems that girls have about their clothes. Btw, guys have it tougher. And especially our Dads give us a whack for wearing what they say is indecent. Ugggh! Can you please tell me what is decent and what’s indecent?

Oh my handsome hunk…! What do you want to flaunt around? Tell me, tell me? If Dad man is calling your clothes indecent, there must be something about it..

Swimming trunks is a firm NO on the roads and on bikes and in theatres and malls and stuff. Extra short boxers ain’t good either. I mean why would you want to show all those extremities to the public at large.

And yes that six-pack isn’t really meant to be displayed on the roads. Six packs are good for the girls and for the chiller tray. Both will take care of them well.  So do you get the drift now?

It’s fairly simple darling. Whatever you want to flaunt is not worth it so just cover it up. And whatever is covered is inconsequential, so just let it be…!

Sensible dad you have.