I am beginning to like my gf’s sister more…

I have started visiting my girlfriend’s house in the last three months, and am beginning to get this feeling that I like her younger sister more. I know it’s wrong of me to do this, but what do I do? Please help

Oh dear, this is one bloody mess you’ve got into yourself man…!

‘Sisters before Misters’, Mr Handsome. Behave! All you hunks out there just believe that you need to get into relationships with everything in skirts.

It’s bad enough thinking of another girl when you are going steady and to top that you’ve landed her own sister! Jeez. Amazing ignoramus you are! Now this is as diplomatic as I can get given the provocation. No, it’s not wrong, it’s insane. And get that loud and clear handsome.

You’re gonna mess up your relationship and their own lovely bond as well with all this frivolous behaviour and emotion. Get your act together, sweetheart. Don’t always be the jerk you are. Its time you remedy your life. Take this advice from Dr Know who more than knows what you are like now!

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: Time to introspect man. Think hard and decide what you want from love and life in general. You’re not a bouncy teen to chase every girl who comes your way. Self-control is the answer. Each time you think of her sister switch thoughts and go look at the mirror. Am sure that will scare you enough!

And yes, if you are very serious about this, then you need to have your head examined. Or just tell your girlfriend. She may just knock some sense into you once for all. I pity that girl. May God give her the strength to stay clear of jerks like you.

Why is the phrase “the birds and the bees” used by parents to explain what sexual relationships are? Why can’t we have a more direct line saying “I gave my son a description of how to have sexual intercourse”?

Oye Darling…! Do you have small children? I have reason to believe they’re probably still in the crib now and hence the packaging doesn’t make a difference to you.

Sure we can have a direct approach but how the hell do you propose to explain sexual intercourse to a little kid who isn’t exposed to sex education at their school yet? Give them a copy of Vatsyayana’s KamaSutra and ask him or her to add it to the reading list? I am curious to know how you would do this…?

It’s easier said than done and more so in the present educational system where even basic sex education is rare and if at all only at puberty or beyond. Hence graphic descriptions and demos may be needed to explain this right and am not sure if you would like to do that as a parent huh? That can just be one of the many reasons that parents might choose to leave their child’s sexual education up to the school system, or even to figure out by themselves when the time is right, as nowadays it’s very common for young adults to go around searching for websites similar to maturesexmovies or others for pornographic content.

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: For the record, the term ‘The Birds and The Bees’ is just a euphemism for sexual contact/ relationships.

Many wordsmiths believe that this may have originated from the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1825): “All nature seems at work … The bees are stirring-birds are on the wing… and I the while, the sole unbusy thing, not honey make, nor pair, nor build, nor sing.”

The parallels are drawn from simple nature. Example: bees that carry and drop pollen into flowers representing male ‘fertilisation’ and ‘ovulation’ is easily explained by the eggs birds etc lay in their nests.

My best friend is pregnant, but she isn’t married. She doesn’t know what to do? Aborting the child is one option, but she is worried that her parents and brother will kill her boyfriend. How does she get herself out of such a situation?

And another one bites the dust, eh? Why don’t these young couples read enough on birth control??? At this rate, what will happen of all the wonderful condom and oral contraceptive brands? Millions are spent on advertising and yet their potential customer is busy copulating and over-populating! What a tragedy this is man… India ka kya meri jaan?

Imagine the pressure on all the services, sweetheart. Aadhar Card, PAN Card, driving licence, passport requirements are steadily rising thanks to all this! Tell your friend to behave! Nonsense. Understand birth control or learn self-control!

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: This isn’t easy baby. It’s about a baby and deciding on its life ahead. I know all this is the last priority when you are copulating and having a good time but this is what happens.

No, am not against abortions if they are really necessary but it’s important to understand the physical and psychological toll it takes on the pregnant girl! You put yourself under so much of risk besides it being against the law unless it’s a Medically Terminated Pregnancy that is amply justified. For your information, IPC allows abortion upto 20 weeks of pregnancy only under specific conditions that has been certified by a qualified gynaecologist/ obstetrician.

In your friend’s case, the options are limited. Either she and her stupid partner own up and explain to their respective families and then decide on their life together, baby included. If not, I guess she has no option but to visit a gynaecologist who may or may not agree to do an MTP (depending on its need) be it chemically or otherwise. The father of the child will also need to be there in most such cases.

I got married recently and along with that discovered that my parents-in-law have awful BO. Evidently, they would soak themselves with fragrances earlier. I am worried that if I discuss this with my husband, he would be upset. What should I do?

He he… this is very interesting! Your in-laws have ‘Bromhidrosis Osmidrosis’ and you are concerned! Did you end up marrying the in-law instead of the son? Am confused darling…?

Why would this worry you? Unless of course you are the ‘Lovey Dovey Bahu’ who goes about hugging her ‘Saas and Sasur’ every few minutes. If the latter is true, then you certainly have reason to worry!

Dr Know’s Gyaanology: So stay clear and keep the hugs to minimum. Carry a good deo before the ceremonial hug. Spray it on yourself and keep sniffing and hug alongside. All will be fine. Lavender works well by the way to cover most odours. All the best, sweetie!

OK sweeties, Dr Know is off for the long weekend. Happy Independence Day and all those nice things. Enjoy yourself and be good. Stock up on all the lovely bubblies and enjoy them over some good television.

See you next week, my darlings. Keep sending those wicked ones to me on editorial@pune365.com. Yes, am loving it!

Illustration: Suraj Lokare