There is one word which every man must tell to himself repeatedly when he meets the apple of his eye – no faux pas please.
Playing safe is the order of the day – whether it the woman you have wedded or the girl you fancy.
It is never easy. In fact it is the hardest thing to do. It just needs one little slip of the tongue or an off-the-cuff remark which may spark a lot of fireworks.
Here are five ways to avoid getting grey hair early or end up as a monk:
Presence of mind: Be alert at all times. This is very important. Lest you forget, say ‘I am alert’ in front of the mirror at least 30 times before you go on a date or before you reach home into her loving arms. If at work, this can be easily achieved during the usual tea or toilet break before you leave. Lover boys can do it before they set out on a date.
Compliments: Don’t ever forget to notice her minutely as soon as you see her. Just a passing remark may evoke a frosty reaction. Think like Sherlock Holmes. Study each and every detail. And voila Watson, you will be a winner. Start from head to toe, observe hair, clothes, shoes, neck, wrists and every visible thing before you shoot off your mouth. No stares at the private parts please. Once facts established collect adjectives and let go.
Conversation: Always best to restrict to monosyllables when she speaks. No interjections like Oh or Ah unnecessarily. Wrong meanings can be construed from this. Stick to plain Yes and think twice before a No. When it is your turn, speak without added drama. Choose your words carefully. Remember if the meaning gets twisted, you will be condemned to unspeakable horrors for the next few days. Stay away from stuff you don’t know – like fashion or philosophy. These, if used must, be done so briefly to establish there is some grey matter up there.
Vices: Enjoy your vices – but in secret. If you love guzzling the booze by the bucketful then do so at a friend’s place as far away as possible and do not return home. Smoking is a dangerous habit as the smell of cigarettes can persist on clothes etc. Confess you smoke five a day when you actually hit 30 or 40. Don’t smoke if you are on a date as your physical approaches may turn into a smelly affair. And if she drinks and smokes, the same rules apply.
Safety: Safety first must be the motto at all times to survive and succeed. Apply all the above rules and live life happily or satisfactorily afterwards.
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