Dr Know. Pune’s very own (and only!) personal advisor

Do you have a question that has been hassling you for a while and didn’t know whom to ask. You can’t ask Mum or Dad, you don’t want to ask the friendly professor at college or your friends. And you have tried to Google an answer, and you found none. Worry not, no Chinta and you have to spend no money. Pune365 has retained one of the city’s most accomplished personal coaches to help you answer questions. And since he’s all-knowing, we call him Dr Know.

Since this is the first time we are running this column, we asked a few people in our office and their friends to send in a few questions. Read on…

I love my boyfriend, but every time we meet at the garden, he brings along his dog. He thinks I love dogs, which I do. But then every time we meet, we play more with the dog then with each other. I mean we hardly chat. What should I do? – VS, Kalyani Nagar

Now, that’s what I call a typical ‘Pyar me Bow-Wow’ situation!

Don’t worry, dear, Dr Know is here to help you and the dog in question.

But before that, what breed is this dog and how old? Now this is very important for me to know before I can give you appropriate playing instructions.

Accha, but jokes apart, the best thing to do at this stage would be to adopt another dog for yourself. As you will figure, this new dog will not only bring immense happiness into your life, but will also become the other dog’s playmate. Simple solution!

And then, everyone can play with each other, while the other visitors of this unique garden can have a pop-corn evening in their balcony seats.

Recommended: Have a serious chat with your friend. Tell him that we all know that it’s a dog’s life but when romance is at stake it’s important to ‘let sleeping dogs lie’. He better learn to walk in the garden with you ! No appendages allowed, barking or otherwise.

I just can’t get myself to watch smooching scenes with my parents around. Is this a normal thing for people my age… I am 18? – DKP, Hadapsar

Ya-ya, I never watched them either when I was at your age. At the tender age of 18, my advice would be to stay away from smooching, scenes et al in the best interest of your parents’ sanity.

Having said that, let me tell you that a bit of harmless smooching is ok to watch since it fills the senses and may help in your pursuit of happiness.

Now this is ok with your parents around, but please ensure you’re looking elsewhere and only using the corner of your eye to stare at the screen.

It’s very important to have the ‘such a boring movie’ expression when you make eye contact with them.

I hope you have understood this technique well enough. So, it should be a 38-degree tilt to the right and the corner of the eye is to be used to hit the 90-degree screen angle.

Keep practising, you’ll master it! And, yes, if there are some really good movies on, do inbox me!

Recommended: Start watching some TV with your folks once a while. The advertising is probably good enough to break the ice on the depiction of physical intimacy :).. While you’re at it, it may be a good idea to discuss all the intimate stuff they keep showing in movies and TV shows today. Am sure soon enough, you’ll be a pro at watching all this, no matter who’s around. Don’t overdo it, though!

The other day we were sitting in a restaurant with my grandparents and a group of people my age were talking out loud and liberally sprinkling their talk with the f-word. My grandparents eased the atmosphere saying this is how teens these days say ‘i-guh’! I couldn’t help doing an ‘Isshh!’. What are your views? – KT, Baner Road

Wow, that’s smart stuff. I thought I was the only one who knew that. But of course it’s the ‘i-guh’ translated from Angrezi.

It’s interesting how the alphabet ‘F’ is used, misused and abused by almost everyone around us. So, from Freedom to Fantastic it’s all about the ‘f’ing lingua franca!

Since you ask, my views on this subject are very clear. I use this alphabet only for Food and more Food. But that’s out of personal choice and my emotional attachment to edible matter.

I think it’s best to take a helicopter view of this subject; The younger generation believe their ‘F’-spiced lingo is good to flaunt around to be ‘in with the Gen’ and so on. Well, each to his or her own. If you wish to be a clone then suit yourself !

Recommended: Decorum and etiquette is a dying tradition. Talking loudly at a restaurant or movie hall is now considered normal even though it can be exceedingly irritating for the others around. To add to this, using foul language and cuss words only attracts further attention and stares of disgust. Little do these people realise that speaking with finesse when your’e in society can do wonders for your image. Cuss words are fine with great friends who accept you for what you are, but certainly not for the public at large…!

Have a question that you would like to ask Dr Know. Mail him at askdrknow@pune365.com. Please note that your questions may be edited for brevity and clarity. Absolute confidentiality assured. We will not reveal your identity (including to Dr Know!).

Illustration : Suraj Lokare

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