#Appamalogy And The Art Of Surviving A Boring Conference

Image used for representation only

Let’s conduct a thought experiment.

Actually, to be honest, now is an opportune time to conduct it for me, for I am struggling to stay awake in a conference. And often, when sleep threatens suzerainty over my good self, I fight back by thinking about things that will definitely keep me awake.

And if you know me at all by now, dear reader, you will know that one thing that keeps me bright-eyed and bushy tailed for sure is food.

So here’s the thought experiment: let’s say you could ask for any plate of food to magically appear in front of you for lunch. Absolutely any plate at all, from anywhere in the world, cooked by anybody you like, and no constraints whatsoever. What would you choose?

Also, before you answer the question for yourself, play little mind games like these in conferences that are designed to stultify (and which conference isn’t?). There are two advantages, at least. First, one can pass the time much more quickly. Second, attendees at the conference are likely to think that you are having a good time at the conference, given the soft dreamy smile of approval on your visage, when in reality you are light-years away.

As a veteran of many a conference, trust me: this works.

Still, back to the thought experiment. What would you choose? I have given the matter some serious thought, and although I will be the first to admit that my answer may change on the morrow, there is a clear winner today: the egg appam.

The appam alone is a worthy contender. Soft, fluffy and beguilingly plump in the middle, and wafer thin and crisp at the outer edges, the appam is an engineering marvel.

Logic says it ought not to exist at all, but it does. And the taste of a well made appam, ah, the taste of a well made appam. One can pick up notes of tangy fermentation, along with a hint of sweetness. And if there exists by the side a throat-warming curry to complement the soft, submissive appam, well, heaven is within touching distance.

But if one were to now add in the middle of an already near perfect dish a farm fresh egg, we are then talking about multiple levels of heaven.

For there is nothing better than breaking out the outer part of an appam, and using it to break open the sunshine yellow yolk in the middle.

Watch the yolk’s surface give way, and for that rich, salty yolk to run gently over the rest of the egg. And then, use the rest of the appam to mop it all up, one luxuriant bite at a time.

If it was me, I’d follow up one egg appam with another. And maybe a third, for good things come in threes. And to wash it all down, perhaps a cup of filter coffee. Well, all right, two, if you insist. And then lean back in your chair, a seraphic smile on your face. That’d be my choice for lunch today, ladies and gentlemen.

We break for lunch in ninety minutes.

Target acquired.


Ashish Kulkarni

Ashish Kulkarni

Ashish is a confirmed Punekar, which guarantees eternal undying love for the city, but also mandates an incurable sense of cynicism about it.

He doesn't expect the paradox to be resolved in his lifetime
Ashish Kulkarni