Introducing a six-part lighthearted look at our infra peeves:WTF Pune! The Adventures of the Lumbosacral

For those of you who are physiologically inclined, the Lumbosacral region of the spine consists of five Lumbar vertebrae and the Sacrum which is essentially five bones joined together.

But this isn’t about our skeletal structure. This is about what will remain of it in the months to come. For decades now, I thought giving up on smoking and getting to an exercise routine will do my body some good. What the Fish Pune? This is so unfair; I did all that so diligently and yet my body aches day after day..

No, this isn’t funny. This is about the hilarious patches of earth we walk and drive on. Hilarious because it’s funny to see Mother Earth sport the terrain of the Lunar surface. Mind you, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin wore special foot wear that had shock absorbers built in. Lucky fellows.

Pune is the ‘Oxford of the East’ and the ‘Moon of the West’. Now this is my own new signature line for the city I take great pride in. I mean, which city can offer you great weather, amazing food, lovely people and a forever aching lumbosacral spine?

What is exciting about the commute is that the same road feels different each time. And it’s all process oriented actually. When we first moved to Pisoli in 2012, the roads were practically village roads with no sign of tar anywhere. Then magic happened and the roads got tarred but that soon got dug up systematically by various authorities. They specialise in making good roads and digging them up soon after. It’s almost a ritual here.

And if the PMC or PWD etc don’t dig them, you can be sure MNGL (Mahanagar Natural Gas Ltd) or one of the telecom providers will. After all it’s precious optic fibre being laid to ease your life and give you high speed internet access. Now that’s an important requirement considering that you are likely to be bed ridden, or holed up at home with a disc prolapse thanks to the roads once these formidable fibres have been laid.

The only saving grace is the rain we have received over the past few days.. Its been raining elephants and giraffes and I hear the Khadakvasla dam is all set to release water into the city. Now, isn’t that wonderful. Our water problems will be solved for the year. It’s a different matter that houses and low lying areas may get inundated. But I am not a prophet of doom…

I look at the positive side of all this rain. It’s lovely weather and an absolutely great time to watch the rain and enjoy a drink with a tub of hot popcorn.

Now this is the advantage of being positive. You find the flipside even in a potholed story. Magic has happened yet again and you can’t see a single pot hole now. It’s just a lot of water everywhere.

But you needn’t worry about all this. There is this wonderful genius of human engineering called a lumbosacral belt which my buddy (a much-respected orthopaedic surgeon) gifted me sometime ago. Just wear this contraption (endowed with some steel plates and stuff), keep a can of pain-relieving spray in your vehicle and drive on confidently…

And as for your vehicles well being, just pray hard.

Jaisurya DasFrom powerpoints to putting powerful points to paper, Jaisurya Das, Co-founder, Pune365 has been going places. It’s in the blood, after all. But after having subjected himself to much hardship thanks to our out-of-this world infrastructural, the blood doesn’t boil any more. And the Das has started looking at the funnier side. What the feeesh!

This is the first of a six-part weekly series on the lighter side of civic infrastructure and/or the lack of it.

 

Jaisurya Das